use somebody

over the past few nights I hae gone over the years since I moved out and graduated hs.

I dont know why, something to do I guess-occupy my time.

I haven’t been sleeping well at all so this is my idea of passing some extra minutes. I am sure I have way more to write about then I feel like at the moment.

I have been busy? Well, I feel really busy. I am the captain of my team for the heart walk on Oct 4th so I have been trying to be organized with that. I have waised 798$ so far, my goal was 500$. I have been really impressed with everyone. We got shirts made too, they are going to be really nice. They have a badge on the front with 213 and the back says SPPD 213 and "fin" on the sleeve which was my dad’s nickname.

I also am probably going to be speaking to a couple highschools in the drivers ed classes-to educate them about organ donation so they have the correct info to put it on their license or not. That is very nerve racking to me, I mean it will be emotional in and of itself but I am not a good public speaker as it is.

Staying home is raelly great. I know without and doubt that I made the right descion about quitting my nanny job. I am still getting about 20hrs at DB so that has been enough for me. School has also kept me busy so I have a pretty good balance going on. My new laptop has helped that situation out greatly.

No one seems to really talk to me anymore-or make the effort. Joy stopped e-mailing and texting and I have not hear from Tim sinse the last time i innitated drinks. That really makes me sad. But you know what? I am fine with not having to listen to people talk to me and say things like "I think you are doing great or that I am handeling this well"

I mean what the fuck does that even mean?

But it is still sad I think. I dont go out anymore but that is how I am choosing to deal right now and it is what I want. Stop pushing..

Currently I am sleeping in the family room. my room has no carpet and not paint- hopefully the redecorating will get done soon. It will look really nice.

the new KOL album came out Tuesday-i really am enjoying it.

I am also going to really enjoy seeing them on Nov 1st.

I hope this is gonna make you notice.