The price of paradise

I head home on Monday night..and the sad thing is, I have been counting down the days since last Saturday.

Almost 5 years ago, I discovered my dads affair via his e-mail.

Last Saturday, i came upon e-mails again. I felt like that 16 year old again.

So it has been confirmed. my dad never stopped seeing that woman, and I have to discover it, yet again.

my mom and I have been having a really rough time here, obviously, but are trying to make the best of it. When we get back to MN, my dad is leaving and my mom is going to file for a divorce.

I am so so so so so soso upset, hurt. angry..furious.

I had to write because I feel so alone. I just called Erik and tried to talk to him, but of course he was at a party and didn’t seem to want to be bothered with my problem.

I actually called jimmy when I got off the phone with him, believe it or not, he is the one person I really want to talk to about this, being as he was with me last time this happened.

I feel like I  am being held together by a thread, and at any moment it is going to break.

It is an undescribable feeling knowing that the last 5 years of your life have been a complete lie.

There are so many more details and other things to write..but that is all I can get out now.

Man if I wasn’t screwed up before, I sure will be now.

This is so hard