The next chapter.

I have tried to write this entry a few times now, and I can never seem to keep on hitting the keys to form the words.

I wish I could write Mark and I’s story. I went back and read about when we finally reconnected 10 years ago, and how that just like woke something up inside of me.

I took many years after that for our story to finally come together indefinitely. I knew over 3 years ago when I was penning him the letter about my feelings and wants- that I would marry him. I just knew it.

These last 3 years with him have been…they have been filled with more happiness than I have known in my adult life.

I look back on my dating/relationship past and I always craved more. However, I for sometime thought that I would have to settle. I mean, no one REALLY seemed happy, so maybe that is just the way stuff shook out when you were an adult?

Right.

Thankfully in my late 20’s, I started to realize how untrue this was. I knew I would never settle. So I went on bad date after bad date.

Then I took a break. I took a break to fall in love with myself. To figure out who I was without having someone beside me. Something I was never able to do for the previous 10-12 years of my life.

I remember the day I woke up and realized that I was in love with Mark. It was months before we turned 30. I remember starting to write the letter that took me months to finish. I remember fighting with myself. Worrying. Panicking.

I remember hanging out during these times and just wanting to tell him so bad.

I remember the day I finally did.

I remember him coming over the next day and that first kiss, even though it was not our first kiss, feeling like I was 16 again.

And now here we are.

I do not have a ring on my finger, but I do know that it is in my future.

I do know that I would have said yes the day we started dating.

Our story is unique and it is us.

I am so lucky, and I will never forget that.

He is truly my better half and my partner.

He completes me.