Hello my love

OD, I feel like we have a very roller-coaster relationship. Hot’n heavy for a few months then it’s cold. At least this is one thing that I know is totally my fault =]

It has been awhile for me…

Here are some things you have missed…

• I quit my job at the Driving Academy. It was a Friday night, I had to work the following morning at 9. I was super drunk and may have had a few puffs of goodness, and at 3AM I texted my douche bad boss and said, "Sorry, I quit."
• After almost 2 months with no job, I got hired at a job on campus working in the career services office, and another one at Cash Wise as a CAKE DECORATOR!! 
• Josh and I are doing well, when I was jobless, it was bumpy…very very VERY bumpy
• My mom is dating a guy named Tom. I very much like Tom and am having a way less hard time with the then I thought I would. I think I really just want/crave a father figure
• I hate school. It is so hard to be in class when I would rather be at work. Do you know how frustrating it is knowing what you want to do and KNOWING you don’t need a degree for it and still be going to school? It’s annoying.
• Working out is going well.

Yup.

In June Josh and I were at the breaking point. The breaking point pretty much came at my birthday…he didn’t to anything for it, I cried that day, a lot. 25 is kind of a big one, right? Nothing…It was heartbreaking. The days that followed are a bit of a blur now, but there was a lot of yelling/fighting and leaving involved. I think I slept in the closet and out on the couch more that week or so then I ever had. It all kind of came to a halt when I talked to his mom. Josh was having a break down in our room and I called her. We talked about everything that was going on, and she made me cry. "He talks about you all the time and how wonderful you are, I know that he loves you so much." Coming from her, that meant a lot. Seriously you guys, I really thought we were going to be done prior to that conversation. My sister spilled to my mom about what was going on, and they both (in totally separate ways) told me to let it go. My sister was more vulgar about it then my mom was…my  mom just said she was really worried about me and wanted me to be happy.

So I finally got a job a couple of weeks later, and things slowly got better. I think both of us sitting around on our butts was so unhealthy that we just had nothing else to do but fight. He left for a family trip at the beginning of August and we both really missed each other. But this time him leaving was different. I had both of my jobs, so I worked everyday and I also worked out everyday. So I was fine by myself but I still missed him. It was a good thing…that I was busy and didn’t really "notice" that he was gone, but I did in way. Does that make sense?Like I missed him but it wasn’t because I was sitting around…I was still busy. I give up on trying to explain that one lol

Weight. After I posted that entry with the pics, I stopped going to the gym pretty much. Not having a job= a lot of sitting around and eating shit. so when I went to do an interview, I tried on my size 4 jeans and they didn’t fit. I broke down. It was just sad. So since that day, I have been back at it and have definitely gotten back in shape. I started pushing myself to at least 3 miles and slowly but surely I got there. That is my new minimum at the gym. woop

Work. Cash Wise hired me as a decorator. This was a huge chunk of luck for me. I mean in reality I had no experience. My talent from where I was before I started that job to where I am now? Cannot even compare. I love that place SO much and I love what I do. Everyone makes fun of me there for being so smiley. Paula loves watching me decorate because she says I smile at my cakes so much. I can’t wait to progress more and keep learning from her.

I don’t really feel like writing too much more right now, I am distracted by Felicity.

I love Josh. So so much. I told someone not worth mentioning that "I am happy and with the man I hope to marry." But it still gets me down sometimes…I was surprise things. I still want a bday present. I want cuteness every once in awhile. I know he doesn’t have money yet. I know he "doesn’t really think of that stuff" But still. Sometimes, like today, it wares on me a little more than other days.

But I am so proud of him, he got a job that I know he totally hates, but he sucks it up and goes. He got back into school. And we are doing so much better. SO much better. I hope this year goes smooth, Hard to believe almost 2 years ago he was just a stranger that lived above me. who would have thought that a mere chat on the balcony and a random invite to Mark’s BBQ….I remember him going back up to change before we left to go to Marks… "I have an instant crush!" Is what I told Ali. Who would have thought….

Now it’s the 3 of us. Me, Josh (loml) and Kitty =]

Ok, back to Felicity.