15, there’s still time for you

Am I the same person that I was over 10 years ago? Have I not learned anything?

I am tired but cannot fall asleep after a long night of work. So, reading my first few entries sounded like a great idea.

I date the wrong men. I always have. Josh was Jimmy, only older. I cared too much and let him do too much to me.

The same.

bark.

I work all the time. I don’t do much else during the week. Seriously. It’s like I don’t exist Sunday-Thursdays. It’s fine though.

I have lost over 10lbs since starting these hours, which is awesome. I have muscle in my arm, ACTUAL muscle. It’s kinda cool.

I am starting to have a mid life freak out though.

I have my full-time ‘dream’ job. But everyone goes to work just waiting for the weekend again. It’s like a never ending cycle. Monday, hope for Friday. I guess that’s why they sing something about working for the weekend. But are people happy doing this? I know, I am whining. You are so excited to grow up so you can have this great life, but all we do is work. When we aren’t at work we are stressing about it or frustrated by it.

I am starting to get down on myself about guys/relationships. I work with this man who poisons my mind about guys. That they are all pretty much liars and cheaters (as if I didn’t think that all ready) and are not to be trusted. Cool, thanks man. I’m getting the feeling that I am going to be single forever.

I have my boyfriend from 10 years ago texting me and wanting to ‘hang out’ all of the time. ALL OF THE TIME

Maybe that is why I am having these weird comparisons.

I need to start letting myself make some bad decisions.