Ramblings

Fall colds suck, ammiright?

Don’t mind this entry. I’m going to be a dipshit, I can already promise.

I decided to work from home today because I feel like hell. Two cases in, I’m already bored. Lung and bladder. Next. Another bladder. Grrrrrr.

I need a change or I’m going to bang my head repeatedly into a wall.

I am listening to a mix of Adele, Colbie Caillat, Slipknot, and Halestorm. It’s interesting.

So. Phone interview Wednesday. Oddly excited, kind of nervous. I do come across pretty well on the telefono though, so hopefully it turns out well. I’m thinking I really am ready to go, and it’s nothing to do with my co-workers or the place – it’s just the case distribution and the ability to work from home full-time and actually be challenged.

Things are pretty status quo. I’m doing a Lia Sophia party this Sunday. Yes, another one. I’m a sucker for trying to help friends, what can I say. I’ve elected to do a fall-themed menu – so, cider and pumpkiny stuff. If anyone has any suggestions, they would make me happy. 🙂 See. I added a smiley face to denote happy.

Wow. I am out of it.

Told my mother about Sean and I buying wedding invitations. I was nervous because of her reaction to my first wedding. She surprised me. Broke out into a huge grin and started to ask about our wedding plans. Uh…we have none. We have invitations because they were cheap. And pretty.

She mentioned that she and dad were just talking about Sean and I and how they were pretty sure we were going to get hitched. Dad spoke up and wants us to go to Reno. Or Puerto Rico (<3). Or Cape Cod.

Kim ran make-up looks for my wedding by me.

I have to laugh. It’s a totally different attitude. Everyone wants to be involved and is happy. Because it’s obvious that this is the right choice this time. I think that’s why, anyway. They may also just be frightened that I’ll be all yell-y like I was the first time.

I tend to doubt that’s the case. My dad especially really likes Sean a lot.

I also actually like Sean a lot, unlike Jeff.

It’s kind of funny. I’m totally not in a rush to get married. Still not sure if I want kids. I’m fine without a ring for now. Do I want to marry Sean? Absolutely. But a ring isn’t going to change our lives. After the hooplah of the wedding, the only thing that will change is my last name. Knowing that, I’m in no rush. I like where we are.

When I was younger, I think that I thought it would make Jeff less jealous and less crazy. It was naive, sure. But now I know the truth – you get married because you like how the relationship is and how your partner behaves. You don’t do it to try to change either of these things, because that just doesn’t work.

It was a hard lesson, but one I’m very grateful to have learned.

It’s so funny to me how old and married we already act. We’ve really grown together as partners and as a family. It took a lot, lot, lot of effort…but nothing worth doing is easy.

Sean is worth every horrible moment we had. I’ve never had a partner so loving or kind. I’ve never been this comfortable with anyone. I am quintessentially myself, and he loves me. He loves all of the good, and all of the bad. I’ve never had this kind of acceptance before. It’s a really powerful thought. I wish I could do it more justice.

Ugh. My head hurts. I feel so warm and cold all at the same time. I’m such a baby when I’m sick.