Finally, Progress

I was thinking today that I seriously don’t write here hardly at all anymore.

I was thinking I should change that. And I realized…my life is seriously boring right now! *laughs*

I’ve been working about 50 hours a week between two jobs. The money is great, but it goes out as fast as it comes in. Problematic at best.

We’re leaving for LA and San Francisco on September 14th. It’ll be my first vacation in about a year and a half. To say I am excited is an understatement. There are so many things we’re looking forward to seeing and doing. I enjoyed California the last time I was out there years ago, and to see San Francisco and LA will make me very happy indeed.

Things with Sean have improved. I know how much everyone here doesn’t like him or the things he does, and I know that some people will never like him. I’ve made my peace with it, but I’m still going to talk about it – he’s a big part of my life.

I think we finally got to the tipping point. Sean has admitted that he needs help. He e-mailed our doctor, Jess, and she put him on an anti-depressant and referred him for therapy. Things are improving. He says he feels less angry, and I’ve noticed that he’s more motivated to do things and less lethargic. I have a lot of hope for him.

I told him that as long as he was trying, and as long as he continued to get help, I would stay. He told me I deserved better. I told him I knew that I did…so it was time for him to give me better. So far, he has been. And it’s not his usual variety of "I’d better be on my best behavior for awhile so she gets off my back," it’s a genuine change in his personality and his anger levels. He is more loving. He is more motivated to return to school and leave the job that’s making him miserable.

As for his friend, I still refuse to speak his name or even hear it uttered. I can be very unforgiving at times.

In other news, life is pretty ok. I’ve made some new friends and I’ve found myself being more and more social. I do have occasional SAD attacks still…in fact, I canceled a get-together at my house this past Saturday because I had severe, unreasonable anxiety about the event. I wish I knew what else to do about it. Sometimes I’ll be perfectly fine, and others…it just hits me out of nowhere.

We have a very promising interview for the Coordinator position at work. She’ll be in on the 8th of September. I’m very excited but trying not to get my hopes up for (finally) a break.

I’ve been writing more. Even published a few fanfiction pieces on fanfiction.net (I know, I’m like 12 for saying that). But it feels good to publish things, and I found that the feedback I’m getting spurs me on to continue the story.

I should get back to work…only a little while more for the extra hours. Gotta make ’em count.