Carry On Up the Tube Bombing ….

The truth about my strange mind is that I frequently become disconnected from what is actually happening in the world, and free associate like a mad woman….

for example, I awoke this morning from a long slumber after watching some of the news commentary on the London subway bombings yesterday, and my mind wandered in a few connected and distinct directions.

First, I wondered about the terrorists agenda. What is it, really, that they want? I have seen no manifesto on the subject, so I’m guessing there is no well thought out philosophy behind this whole thing.

Yes, they want  Western concerns out of " Islamic countries" ( where are these? Last I heard, the world was an amalgamation of people who practice many  religions, and they congregate in small, variegated, socioeconomic groupings called nations.The inhabitants of same include those who have no religious stance, other than holding good will towards their neighbours. They are the most fucked, because they are out of the horrific "I shall quell your Evil with the overwhelming Wrath of my God/ Let me Sell You Some Crap" loop)

Next I thought about the many terrorist acts I’ve seen unfold on my TV screen, and I thought about how people in the Tube were trapped. And I flashed on the people who jumped, enmass, from the World Trade Centers, and I wondered if any of them had the awareness that that were under attack…violence is very surreal, and it sometimes takes a little perspective to figure out how you can fit it into your own mythology. The people who jumped were probably escaping the horror of a death by fire, but I do wonder if, in the future, their story will be rearranged so that we see them as similiar to  the ancient people of the city of Masada, who killed themselves rather than being  murdered  or enslaved by a violent society. Then I wondered about how it felt to be underground yesterday in London,  travelling to work, reading a book, or gazing at interesting strangers  when a sudden blast of fire and noise and metal and blood went off, and the next thing you knew you were brushing flesh and brains off of you in an insane  world of smoke and confusion and  screaming.

I decided , today, that the sole agenda of the terrorist people is to bring about a whole new Hell on Earth.

Then I briefly moved into ‘superhuman saviour’ mode, where I imagined I might have been on a bus or in a train station where someone suddenly stood and revealed the explosive devices attached to their torso (with a Hollywood type trip switch dramatically held in his/her hand) and as that person  is screaming "Praise be to Allah!", or some such crap, I tackle’m , containing the switch and bellowing " Run! Run!" to my fellow passengers. And I know this is fantasy control thinking….but I do know that I now pick the aisle seat rather than the window seat when I book an airline flight, so part of me is preparing, in a hypervigilant way, for just such an occasion.

And that’s just crazy and absurd.

Then I made some coffee, and checked my email….no work for me  today I guess, other than the type I choose .

But I do wonder how we can carry on in such a bizarre world…..where horror has such immediacy, and remains so inexplicable, despite all the ‘information’ we receive on the various continuous news feeds. And I see the TV screen lauding the folks who went to work today in London, in spite of "the troubles", and I think….

" Well good for you!",  and "How sad." , and " What is wrong with us?"

 and my mind screeches around corners and into scary tunnels before finally settling into a numbed roundabout.

And then I think of the people who are missing loved ones today.

Condolences to those who’ve  lost friends and family in the recent terrorist attacks.