Prostitution story online – my critique

Firstly, here is a link to a fairly detailed story about prostitution in America and other parts of the world.

http://www.newsweek.com/2011/07/17/the-growing-demand-for-prostitution.html

From the start they do a great job of suggesting that we clients of prostitutes are the people all around you in the general population. For far too long the media has implied that only serial killers and rival pimps comprised the trick list of the stereotypical working girl. They cite studies ranging from between 16 and 80 percent of all men being sometimes customers of prostitutes.

I really liked the amount of detail into which they went during this story and in the accompanying surveys. They really gave it the old college try yet many of their conclusions were just far off the mark, or they are simply not representing my classification suitably.

Additionally, the story is written somewhat poorly in that the writer opts more than once to cite "one John who said…". That one, great-in-print tidbit, while certainly not a lie, surely reflects the far-reaching opinion and as such isn’t even relevant to the end conclusions you’re trying to draw.

They really tightened the requirements so that it is the rare man who qualifies under their lax requirements for a person who truly does not participate in the sex/porn industry. I was glad to read that their studies showed that the johns are basically comprised of (just about) everybody.

The fact that they deduced that "most… men who patronize prostitutes (are) married or partnered" is something which impacts public opinion yet which does not apply to me. Even I would agree with the phrase "a high-leaning percentage of ‘most’ men should not cheat on their partners".

Soon the story evolves toward "overall, the attitudes and habits of sex buyers reveal them as men who dehumanize and commodify women, view them with anger and contempt, lack empathy for their suffering, and relish their own ability to inflict pain and degradation". That is a mouthful… and I can’t state firmly enough how little of that broad generalization applies to me.

I’ll have to admit to "commodifying" women, for that implies an article of trade or commerce… and once I pay money… it is logically that. Interestingly it is their "human" traits which I enjoy the most. In general terms, these people probably wouldn’t have anything to do with me were I not paying for their company/services. Since I don’t get that companionship to any degree in my real world, I yearn to get as near to it as I can realistically anticipate being.

I have no anger at all toward prostitutes or toward any other classifications of women. I know a lot of other males are indeed outwardly bitter at not being able to attain female companionship, and I know that some even hate women as some result of that. I’m a little more realistic in understanding my fate, and the women who pass through my everyday life are cherished a little bit at a time even from afar.

As for empathy, I sort of offer this lengthy diary as evidence of some sort of empathy toward the women I visit for sex. Lastly, I have zero interest in inflicting pain or degradation on prostitutes or on any other women. Indeed I do pay the going rate for their sexual company and by the time I meet a working girl out there we have each evolved to a point-to-point transaction with each of us having found that streetcorner independently.

Going further in the paragraph-by-paragraph analysis of the story… I approximately never voice aggression toward women of any classification. As for the will or want to rape a woman if I could get away with it… when it is "her consent" that is the most cherished and sought-after element of any time I spend having sex with a woman, I just don’t feel myself wanting to participate should I need only overpower her for sex.

"Sex buyers in the study committed more crimes of every kind than did non-sex buyers". There’s a no-brainer and I certainly wouldn’t question that revelation. I suppose that those who don’t give to the offering plate at church commit more crimes of all types than do those who give to the offering plate at church, too, but what can we learn from such brilliance??

Pretty eye-opening if the "workplace homicide rate" for working girls is 51 times higher than that for the 2nd most dangerous occupation – working in a liquor store.

Of course it isn’t fair to assess my own aggressiveness, but I certainly don’t sense one iota of enhanced aggression for my having used prostitutes and pornography. My sexual preferences (type of sex, not gender of preference) have not altered significantly since I was a teenager. I still cherish gentle, non-threatening touches of feminine skin and the invitations which brought them on more than anything. Far too often the evolution toward orgasm just defines the "date" for women, so they are fairly eager to get the show on the road in order to move on and process more tricks in a night. I could savor the moment for hours if it were economically feasible.

I certainly can understand how some of these guys experience various types of sex with prostitutes and then yearn for the same sorts of experiences when in relationships. (there again, "one" john said something similar)

I don’t really want or need to be the "boss’ with a prostitute. If the encounter is predictable in almost all ways then I can be as passive or submissive as anyone. I, like the ladies, just don’t want to be surprised in any way.

I’m probably not surprised that "many johns view their payment as giving them unfettered permission to degrade and assault women". Personally I see it more as my paying for her consent to have sex with me. In the straight-up social world, that particular woman wouldn’t likely have any interest in consenting to sex with the likes of me. It feels most like the $200 is added incentive to adjust the equation which is almost never in my favor in a random social setting, to a point where it balances suitably for me to experience her tender vulnerability and to experience my deep admiration and deep appreciation for that vulnerability.

There is debate on whether women truly had a "choice" in whether or not to prostitute themselves. It seems "one" non-buyer of sex said: "You can see that life circumstances have kind of forced her into that… It’s like someone jumping from a burning building – you could say they made their choice to jump, but you could also say they had no choice".

I see what he’s getting at, but why doesn’t he have the very same regard for my "life circumstances" which balance precariously between never experiencing close physical/sexual contact with women, and having to pay to increase the chance that I might know those experiences which are taken for granted by so many others. It just doesn’t seem that I fit the largest sample size of those being categorized in these studies and in this story.

I have no interest in having sex with children, or minors… Why? As much because of the random standard determined long before my time as because of my admiration of various females. I’m quick to admit that sisters aged 17 and 18 could be side by side at a local mall, and that I might admire the physical appeal of the 17yo more than that of her adult sister. I just, know where the line is, and with so many adult-aged alternatives out there, I find simply no reason to take interest in the minor.

Could a study come out and maybe convince me that the more ideal age of consent should be "21.349203 years of age"? Very possibly!! The whole number is arbitrary in one sense (what are the chances it should land at 18.000000??) and I’m happy to adhere to the long accepted standards that way.

I have zero belief that any working girls genuinely enjoy their jobs and their customers. I don’t even believe the princess at the ball enjoys having sex with the toad in the corner either. I just feel that the $200 balances her interest enough so that it transpires. Even my favorite prostitute from the early days of this diary used to say: "there are three reasons I do this job: money… money… and money". She was always "stacking her cheese".

I don’t know how effective "John School" could really be. I could envision myself arguing point after point with the tired personalities which staff each such operation. I’ve never been to "John School".

Thankfully the giant snowball that is sex work is much bigger than are those forces trying to guide or harness it.

Lastly, I don’t feel that there is a "backlash" relating specifically to sex work and/or to men being held accountable. Instead it appears that women are making fantastic strides toward equality across a broad spectrum of society. The free-flowing market that is prostitution is not immune to the effects of that evolution, but to call it a "backlash" isn’t accurate. It stands to reason that IF women evolve toward equality (as might a number in math "approach zero") then the numerous functions of their previous INequality would approach zero as well (possibly from the opposite direction).

Translation: IF the disparity between sexual supply and demand is the result of age-old INequality between men and women, then as women approach equality, the sex disparity will in many ways approach equality from the opposite direction.

Reason with me:

If you gave women more money, and men more sex, over the long haul, then wouldn’t the amount of money that men pay for sex become less and less until it approached zero??

That’s a far more effective equation to use when trying to end prostitution than is anything written in the story linked above. Obviously the logistics are a nightmare to solve.