Polishing a bright penny is usually easier than…
Yes, this is about the vibrant OD woman I’ve befriended and how I’ve been really encouraging her of late to be aware of how the past is bound to impact the present and future. Put simply, today she went to an appointment to see a counselor at her university after she’d been placed on a waiting list for same when visiting Student Health Services last month. The immediate inspiration for that visit earlier this year was her then state of mind after a particularly painful break-up.
Although I’ve interacted with this young lady for three years at OD, it was only recently that our friendship really took root and evolved to an almost-daily interaction.
As is surely so often the case with college women who are inspired toward on-campus emotional counseling, things have gotten better in the near term between first contact and finally getting an appointment. Indeed the resources available prioritize those in crisis situations who are perhaps the victims of domestic violence or rape, among other things.
Her evaluation assured that hers was no crisis and thus she was merely "placed on a waiting list" to see a counselor. Not wanting that opportunity to go to waste, I began to try to inspire her as to how to make great use of the opportunity once they called to schedule her to come in.
As we spoke today, within an hour of her appointment, she still wasn’t too keen on going through the motions, but I was still somewhat persistent in reminding her that she has clearly identifiable reasons for seeing a therapist. Anyone with an alcoholic mother and a physically, emotionally, and verbally abusive father is duly qualified for as much therapy as she can obtain.
I suggested that she do her best to lay her cards out on the table face-up and express interest in at least learning the path toward truly overcoming those setbacks she knew during a rugged childhood. Even if she would never return for another appointment there (whether by her decision or theirs) it would still do her a world of good to gain understanding. She needs to know what should eventually be done to afford her the best chance of staying on the healthy side of psychological forces that might pull her toward bad people in the future.
The young woman has put most of the January break-up behind her now and has irons in the fire of a potential new romance which has her giddy with anticipation.
She writes:
it’s funny how little a girl needs to feel special.
a phone call when you said so, and some nice words.
In reviewing today’s appointment she offered:
("How did it go?" ) Really well
I explained to her that i was there to resolve things from my past.
and handle how they affected my future and relationships.
we talked about my dad.
we established that i didn’t want pity, but someone to objectively listen to me.
is there any talk at all of going back there???
next monday.
and every following monday.
probably til the end of the semester.
oh, really? … that’s awesome
agreed.
it went very well.
I sure hope you can give your all to this
it was nice to be in there by choice and not because i felt like i had to resolve things because i was so distraught.
so very few people would have the will to be proactive… without mines going off in their present life… to adhere to a regular visit to a counselor that way
the counselor said it was very proactive as well.
that’s the word she used.
thanks for pushing the counseling thing.
i think it’s really helpful and i wasn’t so optimistic going in..
but i came out and felt really good about it.
wow, that is music to my ears…
but i do have you to thank…
for pushing me to seek help.
gosh, just keep stimulating my good feelings by letting me know how it evolves over time
Which brings me back to the title of this entry. In a way it is a lot easier to take someone who just seems to have it all (youth, exceptional beauty, college education and aspirations for post-graduate work, along with trajectory that should have her on the fast track to happiness*) and inspire her to even loftier heights than it is to motivate those who once suffered even worse and who have more recently been derailed from the fast track.
(*IF she can avoid the pitfalls inspired by the past)
Most people who are affected by similar upbringing don’t get to start from a place of such promise, and are usually already showing more obvious signs of having been severely impacted during adolescence and/or early adulthood, before they take a first significant swing at therapy.
Of course it is a lot more difficult to inspire such people toward the most promising way to reverse the evils of the past, than it is to do the same for a successful college student like this one. Not only that but, because the school offers such professional attention included in the cost of tuition, she can afford to make the effort in the present. (for that reason it seems a doubly good idea)
At the very least, my OD friend can finish her undergraduate studies with a clearer perception as to the path up ahead and with regard to what it will take to steer clear being side-tracked by the emotional wounds of the past. Maybe it’s too much to ask that the newly spawned romantic interest flourish immediately and for a long, long time, but that scenario doesn’t have to be out of the question.
All I know is that I’m very gratified right now!
I’m an undergrad as well and I surely could use some counseling. I think everyone could benefit from some psychiatric help.
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good stuff!!
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RYN: lol I DID fall asleep on that couch and he did NOT violate me. I do happen to know the difference between being violated and having chemistry with someone. I would say we had chemistry.
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ryn: about the studies, that’s not really to do with men not wanting to share their woman with another man, more to do with sexual orientation… which isn’t anything to do with how some men expect their gf to share with another girl yet would never share with another man! :p you should be able to access that entry i linked to now. i am definitely tempted by your OD boards idea…
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RYN: Oh *lol* I wouldn’t want to date any of the guys there! Not that they’re bad people, but if it’s not their job to be there at 2-3AM, they shouldn’t have a reason to be there at all. And besides, I don’t intend on dating, much less becoming serious with anyone, until I’m out of college.
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RYN: Sure I can drive though, know how to call a cab, and don’t need to rely on a boyfriend to pick me up. Besides, I’m sure most guys wouldn’t be very happy about their girlfriend stripping. I don’t intend to be intimate with anyone for a while, either. The allure is there for me, and b/c stripping runs in my family, I know all the tricks of the trade, and everything to be cautious about.
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its looks amazing
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hey, what happenned to your other entry about that girl you like a lot?! *Alazar* (in case you haven’t got a clue who it is)
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Ryn: I don’t honestly know if they do Big Mac Happy Meals, I admit I am not one for the McDonalds, but that’s what I had. Perhaps my friends thought it had been hard earned. XP
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Bah what happened to the most recent entries?
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