*Eternal Appearance Dissatisfaction had by Women

In all directions lately I see women thinking of & taking extraordinary measures about their looks and I can’t tell whether society pressures them so much, or whether human psychology causes them to pressure themselves in unhealthful ways.

And it’s everywhere, too. From high school-aged teens so sure of themselves that something about their appearances is central to their not yet having a boyfriend, to young adult women who’d sooner ‘apply’ the face they think they need to compete, than highlight or accent their own natural appeal in a much fresher presentation. From many here at OD (some of whom write of various eating disorders and) who are so often unrealistic about the self-perceived magnitude of their flaws, to even the working girls who, while in seeming fierce ‘competition’ for clients in the online arena, are constantly feeling they need to change something significant about their appearances to boost their income (while paying no attention at all to their blurry photos, their inability to identify their greatest visual appeal, and their poorly-worded and eternally repetitive online ads).

I have greater appearance issues than most women I see, and while I know that the universal image of prostitution is that of a man renting a woman’s pussy for an hour or a fuck, a bonus to paying that ‘rent’ is to not have to be concerned with my own natural, physical shortcomings during that time.

Imagine if you will, the mythical ‘John’, who is the shy and introverted, creepy-in-your-mind guy who only visits the water cooler at your office when nobody else is hanging around there. You can tell from afar that he’s probably so insecure that he is never himself around women, and thus certainly not confident enough to know a relationship with a woman. Consider even him browsing the internet and then hiring a working girl before somehow putting aside those otherwise considerable insecurities while he gets to know the close physical pleasures inherent to sex. So it’s truly not just the orgasmic fuck from which the client gained a great deal. He also got to feel the close presence of another human without his being as limited by his own personality flaws. He managed on his own to identify the situation wherein he was paying for sex as some sort of a boundary beyond which his enjoyment of a woman did not depend so greatly on what she thought about him. Imagine that guy then fully enjoying his own sexual expression without being anchored by his own baggage!

(note: I’m not exactly that shy, introverted and uncomfortable guy at your office, but we likely have a parallel sense of our own social worth to  most women)

What is significant about that last paragraph is how clear that psychological line was for the fictitious character involved. The one where, because he was paying money for an arranged appointment with a working girl, he basically created a scenario where his own psychology wouldn’t hold him back for that rented hour. The male mind, in most cases, is nearer to ‘black and white’ in such thinking than is the typical female mind.  (just not as much self-doubt)

Recently I likened the female appearance to that of a combination of lottery numbers, where each combination is truly random, and where in our mental reasoning, we accept with mathematical confidence that any such combination really is random. Yet when actually watching those numbers we sometimes allow ourselves to doubt… especially when we might have purchased a ticket or two. Our minds want purely ‘random’ to look much like the latest winning Powerball combination which was: 3-7-16-21-44-53 and not so much like the two previous winning combinations which were: 5-9-28-29-32-38 and 10-12-37-40-46-52. Consider carefully that the odds of winning are "1-in-175,223,510" and that the current U.S. population estimate is 315,520,350 as I write. The female portion of which is 160 million plus. We have room for most of the women in Canada while still approximating unique female appearances through the use of the possible combinations in the Powerball lottery.

The way that you, and you, and you, and YOU, tend to disregard your own natural beauty, and guess-at the way that the world around you values and admires your beauty is akin to seeing something other than "pure randomness" in lottery numbers which often seem so clustered "over there" and away from your own random appearance. You so willingly let yourself believe that the appearance traits clustered over "there", with numbers including 28,29,32, and 38, must be the sought-after ones, so you aspire needlessly toward somewhere else.

Somebody I read here at OD is a socially shy college student from a foreign land who has an exceptionally sculpted face, and jet black hair to frame it splendidly. Indeed her hair is long and flowing but up until recently she has always favored a hairstyle which has much of that hair obscuring her pretty face and its symmetry. Recently there was talk of a potential new haircut, and while I pleaded my case for a cut that would bring-OUT her pretty face, I don’t sense that she was brave enough to go that way. She’s really good at expressing her feelings, although she too suffers from an unrealistic body image which could prove her undoing one day. The young woman exudes warmth and playful spirit and yet she suffers inside moreso than I can even perceive.

Somebody else, who reads this diary, recently embarked upon a fitness routine which was this week documented by progress photos spanning 60 days. I have to admit that she looks more confident and more sure of herself in the present than had been the case two months ago, yet the ‘before’ photos are such that most would envy all she had then.

Personally, I’m so blown-away by the way the woman went so far as to wear the exact same garments, and share photos from the exact same angles, that I’m kind of in awe of the opportunity to scrutinize somebody who went that far in making sure that "all other things were equal". I like sensing that much attention to detail, from a woman, while at the same time I am not anticipating too many readers gaining very much from the lottery number analogy above.

If I could know one more set of details, from the same woman, it would be the data relating to her "waist-to-hip ratio" in each of the progress photos she shared. By that criteria, the woman’s body seemed to have been quite fantastic from the start, and I would very much appreciate the chance to ‘calibrate’ my visual perceptions with actual data.

Another OD reader I’ve been following is a young stripper, who got improbable breast implants, and who writes of eating challenges and of now being especially thin. I can only guess at the interesting proportions now known to her body and I hope at least that business is going well as a partial result.

I don’t know if society as a whole somehow creates in young females these popular trends toward wanting what somebody else has. I guess it would have to be "society", all-inclusive, but I don’t know which subsets of that society need to be refined in order s

o that young women are far more willing to present themSELVES out there in the world, instead of spending so much time and energy trying to look like somebody else.

Still another of my favorite OD’ers is somebody who is just gorgeous from head to toe, and who does tend to land social dates from the would-be high-end department. But I sense self-doubt and some insecurity in most of her described thoughts, and I yearn to know the effects on various areas of her life of bringing out more of the natural uniqueness behind the attractive ‘face’ she tends to apply each morning.

I can only imagine that years and years of the same make-up regimen (thank her mother for that) can make it very, very difficult to experiment with one’s natural beauty after sensing that sooooooooooo many people out there in one’s circles now have certain "high-seeming expectations" about one’s looks.

There are so many women around us who are far more naturally attractive than they can see, and who have for so long ‘conditioned’ themselves to be and seem images quite unlike the people they really are. Make-up and appearance are just a part of that, but I have to wonder if those traits tend to spill-over into their personalities and their spirits as witnessed by everyone in their circles.

And just who do we have to thank for this? The western media, perhaps? To some extent it could even be "men", as a group, that we have to thank for it. Although in societies all over the world there are an equal number of men, and some such societies have far less fussing about make-up and feminine beauty than what we know in North America.

Of greater importance, how are we going to inspire you to consider that, in ways much like random lottery numbers don’t seem ‘random’ (even though everybody knows they are), it is entirely possible that your sense of yourself is being altered considerably downward by psychological perceptions which aren’t reflected in how well you’re regarded by the society around you?

If you all were working girls, little touch-ups such as using only sharp and clear photography, thoughtful and non-repetitive ad copy, and greater attention paid toward accenting your finest attributes would enhance business a great deal. Yet in those cases your income would clearly reflect the differences and make the causes and effects ever so clear to understand and appreciate.

When you’re out in the real world, just trying to keep from being your own greatest adversary and/or liability, how are you supposed to figure out that most of the hurdle is within your own mind? And how can you identify a parallel clear barrier for yourself to that which allowed the would-be coworker described way up above to switch from being so unsure of himself to becoming less encumbered by his own personal fears?

I’m confident that you’re a lot more near than you think to being fully socially appealing in your raw and natural state.

This has been the mindset of your John