3/19/2020

I am confused with life at the moment. I’m hung up on a guy. The same guy that I’ve been hung up on for about a year now! yuppp you guessed it. I have strong feelings for this guy. Just glancing at him makes me smile. Honestly I know I’m into a guy when I’m not grossed out by him 😂. For example, a part of the blanket smelled like ass, and I just disregarded that completely lol. I just feel like I want to take care of him. I wanna be the one to satisfy his needs. I’m really trying to be the one but sometimes I question it. I question whether I should keep trying or give up. They say that the guy has to like the girl more or it won’t work. Wonder if that’s true. All I know is at the moment I’m on a high. Like I am high off weed but also off his love. Hahahaha that’s so cheesy. But that is how I feel right now. I love to kiss him, it makes me happy. I love our sense of humor around each other. He makes me laugh a lot. I feel comfortable with him. But then, reality kind of sets in. Or should I say my Virgo friend, steps in and slaps me with reality. All it took was a Snapchat that said “Where tf u at”. I know I’m doing something wrong when I can’t even tell my best friend about it. I still haven’t replied to that response I just changed the subject. I don’t like to talk about it because I know that what I’m doing is very risky. Risking catching feelings and getting my feelings hurt. I said I was done with him before, so my homegirl is probably tired of all the back and forth. I’ve messed up telling her everything knowing I can forgive him easily and she can’t. I’m in this game, and sometimes I wonder if I should give it up. I’m just unsure of his feelings, I need more reassurance. I don’t know how dating works. I’m just going with the flow honestly. Whatever I feel in the moment. Some would say it’s wrong.