Who’s Palmer?

Palmer lives up stairs. 
His first name is Palmer,
his last name is even more amazing. 
He is young and bright and full of energy. 
He can’t stay silent during a movie. 
Questions that, if pondered for a mere moment,
he would know the answer.
He had no money, and was often fired. 
So he eats my food, and watches tv with me. 

Sean, my best friend from high school just moved in to replace the man commonly known as CT, although his real name is charles taylor, like chuck taylor, like awesome. 
He wastes it. 
More on ct one day soon.

Palmer eventually became very dependent on me for food and entertainment and the like.
In return, we would drop him at the laundrymatt with a roll of quarters and my video i pod to keep him company, whilst sean and I grocery shopped or sat on the porch and impotently stared at the plethora of hot girls running by my front porch, wishing we had anything to say……

Then, not soon after sean moved in,
Plamer announced he was leaving….
back up north to build the tops of buildings,
roofing is what he called it….
until after the summer.
No plan to fill his vacancy, he would pay rent up stairs.

We tried to convince him.
I can get you a job here
you don’t have to leave
this summer is going to be the BEST SUMMER EVER
and so it will be

The first weekend pamer was gone
I had a bunch of citrus vodka left over from my BEST SUMMER EVER opening party.
the one palmer missed

Sean and I decided not to go home for mothers day until saturday
we had no plans
just vodka
and time

I, still sober after 5 and a half years, can still make a mean drink
Arnold Plamer was a famous golfer who loved half Iced tea and half Lemon aid.
The drink now bears his name

I decided to take away most of the lemonaid, and replace it with citrus smirnoff
I called it an alcoholic golfer
Sean called it a Fucked Up Arnold Palmer.

Still bitter after the loss of my house boy, I shortened the name to a Fuck Palmer.

The new neighbors, young hot, unable to purchase liquor leagally
invited sean and I over to their Kegger.
awesome
beer pong and tiny skirts

when the party wound down
and people came over to my house
late in the night
to see two men in their thirties
living together
they had to think that maybe we weren’t on the strait and narrow, if you catch my drift.

I didn’t help things when,
Offering them the same drink sean had in his hand
and pointing at a drunk as hell Sean with a shit eating grin on his face,
I said
 "you wanna Fuck Palmer?"

His response made a great title.

Also, in the interest of truthieness….I stole my last entry from Sean.  It didn’t happen to me……mmmm sad?