Dear Husband:

Dear Husband,

I’ve been going through the toughest time of my life lately.  You already know it’s you and yours that caused things to be this way for me and for us as a couple.  For months I’ve given you several chances to try to make things better between you and me.  Every single one of them was overlooked even when planned out.  I sit here in my room feeling like a child that’s punished.  I’m tired of begging for your attention.  Again, making me feel like a child. How do I earn your time, attention, and affection?  I’m tired of being the one that plans what we do.  I’m tired of having to take you away from our “home” just to have your attention and affection to only turn into arguing.  I’ve told you several times I’m tired of feeling like I’m the only one in this marriage.  I chose and made our dinners, I watch over our finances, all household chores are done by me. And then you come home from work to a spotless house, your laundry done and put out for the next workday, dinner is hot and ready or almost ready only for us to be almost complete strangers in OUR home.

I’m tired of asking what I did to deserve this kind of treatment and you can’t give me any kind of answer.  I’ve told you several times that if you no longer wanted to be with me, it’s okay and fine. But you have to tell me.  I’ll never know how you feel if you don’t say something.  You’ve slowly pushed me away for a while now.  A month ago, I told you I knew I had lost my best friend.  I no longer wanna sit in my room waiting untill you’ve decided to pick me up and use me again.  I no longer want to be the person that takes care of everything you need.  I do not have an off and on switch.  I never did and never will.  I have no idea where I stand at with you anymore in this marriage or this life.  You never saw to it that you reassured me in any of it.

I just don’t care anymore about anything of you.  You’ve proven your point to me that neither do you.  So as I sit here typing out this entry, thinking of how I’ve asked you to move the tv in the bedroom and hey lets go get some food…. It’s all perfectly fine.  Cause you have yet to do or say anything about anything and I can hear you snoring again.  if you are this tired just that! Don’t let me think we are going to do anything together on your time off.  I wish I had $29.00!  Do you know why?  Let me tell ya why, I’d pay you for one hour of your time.  Just to sit there with me and just hold me.  I miss my best friend so much.  But I know I’ll never have him back.