Wanderlust

I never thought I would be back here but…hello again OD. Gonna take a minute to get used to the features on here. Just reposting this from PB since I don’t have much to add today.

When I wake up, I instinctively check my phone. I first look for messages from work and scan through the 30+ chat rooms for red flags, …employee was involved in a confrontation…, the verbiage intentionally vague, professional.…anonymous female has concerns regarding the new schedule…and she’s right, she probably wont get the schedule she wants but it’s a company wide change that I am not in control of, it’s my job to sell and enforce it, not think it’s a good idea. I type responses on auto-pilot, my brain not consciously engaged in the words.

I turn the screen off and shut my eyes again. I see the time on my phone and wonder how I slept so long but it was only 3, it’s AM…not PM…I open my blackout curtains to let the grey light in and hear the slow drip of rain, it’s as if the clouds couldn’t be bothered to make a decision, they’re as indecisive as I am about getting out of bed. I struggle against the weighted blanket, the go get ‘em attitude from last night when I started prepping meals for the week is gone, I have no want to go to the store for the other ingredients I need. I make my coffee/morning meal replacement shake, turn on my modeling amp and play with effects on my guitar for an hour or so. I look up getting a haircut, the wait is over an hour. I put on my headphones, turn on a discovery playlist and imagine the artists singing next to me while I do small chores, it strikes me that so many of them died from addiction. I want to hike somewhere beautiful, have frantically passionate sex in the majestic surroundings, start a campfire and wait for darkness.

I have too much time on my hands today.

Mac Miller was one of the artists I didn’t know until after he had passed, I just started listening to him recently and he was quite unique.