These Rooms All Look the Same

I love the rain. People always look at me funny when I say that out loud, but it’s the truth. Like so many others I feel like a new person when the winter fades away and the sun makes its firts appearance in months…but it’s those rainy days that make us appreciate the nice ones, and I find myself listening to the rythm of drops hitting the sidewalk as I get the feeling that the world is a much bigger place than I would sometimes like to think it is.

I looked outside and saw the rain comming down…days when staying in bed all day would seem to be the best way to spend time. But today was a work day, and soon enough it was time to find something to do with my on-campus summer job. The rain was soft and came in small droplets…when I was walking they came rushing for my face only to dart away from me when they got close. I smiled thinking about how the little drops of water remined me of large flakes of snow that would try to commit suicide on the windshield of my car, but always seem to pull up or dash to one side at the last second. “Its a good day to be inside” was all I could think of saying to myself.

Working inside the abondoned dorms, we must be pretty desperate for work on these rainy days. I did’t care much, it was going to be easy work, better than something I would have had to do in the past. We started off in the dorm where I made an occasional appearance in durring the year. We made our way though one hallway, and then started to pace ourselves because we knew that it would rain all day and we might as well take our time doing the job we had.

“All these rooms look the same” I kept telling mylelf. Two beds, two desks, two chairs, and a sink. Halls that were formerlly full of life were dead and empty as summer was just beginning…it was so quiet. I felt out of place as I made my way though a structure void of personality with white brick walls and empty corridors. The guys were taliking about baseball and somewhere someone that was cleaning had a radio on, other than that all I could do was keep myself busy and think. I became a ghost in the halls, I imagined the lives of girls that had lived there the past year, the year before, or even decades ago. There were so many stories, it seemed like a trategy that the halls were empty and there wasn’t anyone there to laugh, to talk to, or to just say hi.

I almost didn’t recognize it. A room that I had drifted by so many times. It all came back to me, this little place off in a corner of the third floor. All her pictures were gone, all of her furniture was moved out, any sign that she had even been there had been wiped clean. I leaned against the doorway in the hall and remebered the smile on her face as we stood there and wispered about any little thing that was on our minds…it was a great smile, one that was impossible to not smile back at. The floor was bare, I went in and leaned against the sink and tried to remeber how small and beautiful she looked while she lounged on the bed talking to me…

Its not hard to miss a person after they leave you for a while…the sight of her room took me back to the thought of her. There wasn’t a harsh word between us, and even though I might have felt rejected, I couldn’t get to the point where I could see her old room and not think about her fondly, she is such an awesome girl. I can’t wait to see her again, its a shame it’ll be in a different room. It seems like a part of me still lingers in that room, hungry for her affection, waiting for the moment that will never arrive as I listen to every word she has to say. I laughed inside of myself, “part of me still here,” I thougt, that was so goofy, but at the same time true. Then it hit me, a building so full of memories, so full of history, and I was a part of it. Part of me is still there, I think it always will remain there…a ghost of me from my past leans by her wall, or against her sink, talking to a memory of her that talks back and laughs at jokes like the year is still going on. I’d like to think a little bit of us remain there flirting…ghosts in a memory looking for completion.

I think they are happy there in that moment together…they take their place among the other ghosts left from time past in a room that is no stranger to the situation.

I smiled about it as I turned the light out in that room…I can’t imagine how a building with so many stories like the one which I lived out inside its walls could be reduced to memories in a building where all the rooms look the same…I thought about next year and what kind of people would leave their ghosts to smile in the hallway just as I had done like so many before me.

Peace and Love

Mikey