Notions

"We are never more alive than when we are in love"  John Updike

I know I’ve said this plenty of times before, but it still rings true in my head when I think about such things.  It’s got to be some kind phenomena…everything seems sweeter when you’re involved with someone.  I don’t know what to make of it, but I think its true and consequently, everything appears kinda dull in the absence of that person or any person that you’ve been close with.  Video games and general bumming around all of the sudden is a lot more fun than being diligent or seeking something out whole-heartedly.

I found this little but in my journal a while ago… I think it kinda goes along with this stuff.

I’ve been flirting with notions, with ideas and parallels about God’s Love.  It always seems like my spirituality is heightened when I am seeking or involved with a girl.  Even while dating Sandra, I felt a strong call to let the leadings of the soul have more merit in my thoughts and actions…as if something was more alive in me than it had been before.  I’ve tried to convince myself countless times that me in a relationship or even infatuated with a girl somehow makes me a better Christian.  Most times I’m disgusted with myself because I feel like I might be trying to justify the idea of making a person an idol I put before God while I convince myself that the idol that separates me from God is something that is helping me draw near to His heart.  Then I get angry at the warm fuzzies just for making me feel warm and fuzzy. 

"We are never more alive than when we are in love," are words that I cannot escape however.  It seems that every system of the body operates on high alert while the heart is in love.  Why is that?  For some reason we want to stop and smell the roses while all out lives we have been critical of the people who have done so.  And its not just stopping to smell the roses, I want to be kind to people more often, I even want to do my job really well.  And all of this, I think, has to have some link to good.

And I believe it’s in the wake of this that we become more aware of it.  Just as love makes us come to life, the absence of love drives us further away from it.

Peace and Love

Mikey