I love you

I wouldn’t tell you I love you that much

Every movie builds towards the moment, every plot in every story seems to be stuck on the phrase, every couple tends to say it all to much.

“I love you” this universal code for saying so much with such small words…how does this happen?  I think a better question to ask would be to wonder if it is indeed appropriate.  I have been careful in my life to not throw around the word love with people.  To me it seems that it is something reserved, something sacred among all the profane things, something that should be set aside for a time and a place special.  The world as I see it sees these small yet powerful words in an entirely different manner.  These words are to be the bombardment of all young people, the ultimate climax of an Eros romance that peaks after a few dates…after all, how could something that feels this good not  be love?

The same might be said about the use of the word as time moves on.  Do the true tones of the feelings whisper away with age..does the hint of love find it way though the cracks of our heats to be lost at a later date.  If so, why would the words remain?  The answer remains in the repetition.  Just as a prisoner can expect dinner at five, so can a one expect the cheap words that they wish to hear with some kind of authenticity.  The welcome that is received is no greater than the dismissal bell at 3:30 for the end of the school day to the child that sits in his seat watching the every move of the second hand as it clicks slowly to fulfill what is required of it.

The serviceman salutes to his flag, to his superior, but there is no honor in it; just routine.  Men bow their heads to pray before a meal…but are they grateful…or is this merely what they do?  And these words, these “I love you’s,” are they to be arbitrary as well?  Is this the toll that men pay as they walk out the door or hang up the phone.  Is there emotion that is driving the tongue, or the mundane repetition that fills that part of the day like other parts fill other times?

I could never tell you I love very often.  This does not mean that I don’t love you, that is for certain.  But if I were to propose to you every morning on bending knee in the midst of public, would you not wonder if I were truly asking or merely filling in routine?  Why then would I tell you at the same moment everyday that I love you?

I love you is not for the lunch hour phone call, its for the call from three states away that says I miss you more than I can bear and I can’t wait till I am home with you again.  I love you is not for the peck on the lips at the door while you rush to work, I love you is for the embrace on the weekend when the babysitter finally comes through and you and the special someone have the first night out in months.  I love you is not for the hug at the family reunion to appear the happy couple, I love you is for the bedroom and for the time where the world knows nothing of you business.

I could never let myself cheapen these words, to do so would be an injustice…to deaden all that the words truly stand for.  I would keep those words for the right times, for the right places, so that when they leave my lips there might still be anticipation in your ears…and you might know that I love you.