Timing is Everything

So I had every intention of sending that letter today. I addressed it and my mom gave me a stamp, and I was going to be out running errands anyway….but, I just couldn’t bring myself to bring it along. I think if I were 100% sure of anything I would have no problem doing it you know? The problem is I am not. Once I mail it, there is no UN-MAILING it. And what if there is some small percentage of a chance that this is all one big misunderstanding? Though I guess even if that were the case and he got the letter, in theory he should be understanding of my feelings regardless. It’s just…so….final. Once it’s sent, that’s it. It’s good-bye. It’s no more us for sure. Because I made that break. Even if it is just on my end….I wish I could just stop holding out for hope. My brain and gut are telling me there is no hope. Even my heart is telling me that…He doesn’t deserve that kind of loyalty anymore. Ok, ok…..after I finish this entry I will drive to the post office and drop it off in the night slot. It’s just like ripping off a band-aid right? ……right……

(Rear view mirror ornament—by me)
Yesterday my friend and I spent a wonderful afternoon in the SUN. For once it was like 54 degrees, no breeze, and the sun felt absolutely wonderful on my skin. Staying cooped up indoors between work and home certainly wasn’t a welcome addition to my moods, so yesterday was the first day where I just enjoyed the day and my company. I took the camera Frank gave me last year for Christmas and all my lenses and equipment and we went around the historic part of town taking pictures.

It helped that Josh is silly and goofy and totally uninterested in girls. So I could just relax and have a good time and not have to worry about him sizing me up as "fair game now." He did a wonderful job of making me forget I am so sad and instead he inspired fun photography and laughter. I am looking forward to more warm weather so we can go explore other places.

I really got some great shots. (I think.) While I don’t fully understand all the mechanics (yet) of my beautiful SLR I find artistic shots. Though I must be honest, I found it very difficult to find things that "inspired" me photography wise in this town. I tried to pretend that I hadn’t lived here for 15 years so I could look through things with "new" eyes. But it was just like any other main street in every city in every state in this country.

Except for one place. For as long as I have lived here there has been this abandoned (although a historical landmark?) Jewish Synagogue that has not been in use since the 1930’s. I find it a little hard to believe we have no practicing Jewish families in the area…

This place just looks so, out of place and forgotten. While I am not religious I find the building so beautiful and intriguing. I would love, love, LOVE to go inside and see what it looks like. All the doors were locked though, and I doubt the city would just let me in to see what it looks like. I have a sneaky suspicion that the Catholic church that’s right next door (Ironic huh? lol) has some hold over it. The whole time I have lived in this town I have never seen it in use.

Anyway, these are some of the pics I took when I was there. The day was so bright and the building is white so the front view I took came out a little …well alot…bright. (I’m still learning!) I wish this camera had a bigger display screen so I could tell easier how the pictures look so I would know if I need to readjust settings. Ahh well, practice makes perfect, I know.

Anyway, later we had milkshakes, a short hike in a nature reserve (where I got some really cool shots) and then a fabulous dinner at my all time favorite restaurant. Josh experienced boiled craw-fish for the first time! He was hesitant at first but once he got past the intimidating little creatures it was game on, haha.

Our very anti-Valentines day celebration was a success.

"A heart can be broken, but it goes on beating just the same." Fried Green Tomatoes