Picture Memories

  Well here I am trying to pass the night away at work. I like the midnight shift because it’s quiet and it gives me a break from the everday business this hotel is constantly doing. I just wish they wouldn’t schedual me on a school night. But they want me on the check in shift on the weekends because I am fast, and good.  Well I am fast and good at every shift really, heh. I am not boastful of many things, really nothing. But when it comes to my job, I am proud of myself and how well I do it!

So tonight to keep myself occupied I brought every picture I own. Few years ago I took them all out of the beat up albums they rested in with every intention of reorganizing them and putting them into a nicer album. Well tonight I categorized them and now I just need the albums! And I need to write little notes for the pictures and stuff, which will be the most time consuming part. Putting them into an album is nothing, but labling them? I’ll be 90 before I am finished! I had fun looking at them though, I have a lot of pictures of two of my friends and we were so silly and goofy, and happy. We didn’t have bills, or responsibilities other than school. And through most of the pictures we didn’t have boyfriends. I like who I am now, but I miss those days too. When we could just be girls and silly and giggly. Those were good times.

And then I got to my trips back home to California, and those made me really sad. To see all the people I grew up with when I was out there, and out of all of them I am only in contact with two. I thought those people would be in my lives forever. They seemed to care so much, and when we moved away, they stopped caring it seems. They stopped making an effort. I got to see the pictures of the beaches we went to, my mountains. Man, I miss walking out my front door and looking up to the mountains. I walk out my front door now and I just see flat lands, with tires in people’s yards and raggedy old houses. No mountains, hell, there’s not even hills!

I have so many pictures. I found some of my dad, which really brought down my mood. The 6th is rapidly approaching and to be honest I don’t know how I am going to handle it. My mom brought it up today and I just ignored her question. I hope I am busy, and working, so I wont have to face it, or handle my feelings.

Ahh but anyway. Its weird how one picture can remind you of one memory, which sparks another, and then another, until all you are layered memories. I like to go back to the past a lot. To be with the people I don’t get to see anymore, to escape the current…I even make up memories for the future just so I have something to look forward to, lol. I guess that sounds pathetically crazy but oh well.

I called Frank last night when I got home from work and got to hear his voice. Neither of us are phone talkers, but every now and then we talk on the phone.  I feel closer to him when I can hear his voice. Like he’s right there next to me. You know, a lot of people may think bad of dating online, or long distance, but I think its a good thing. How many couples today REALLY communicate?  A lot of people subsitute physical attraction for love or feelings, and thats why SO MANY relationships fail. They have nothing else in common really. But like a couple like Frank and I, we only get to communicate, and talk, and every once in a while we get the physical stuff..But we spend so many hours just talking, and getting to know eachother, even after three years.  Of course the long distance thing is hard. We miss eachother more than we get to be with eachother, but we know that we have a strong relationship because we work hard at it. Our roughest time will be adjusting to being around eachother all the time and trying to communicate that way! If we get into a fight, we’ll prolly both log on to a computer and hash it out, haha.

He made a comment last night about us being together when I moved there in 2007. I think he’s excited about it too. I have a feeling we’ll end up getting a place together. I don’t know if it is the wisest thing, moving right in with eachother. But if we can make the distance work, surely we can making living together work! I know he will want out of his mother’s house. She drives him crazy, lol. I would kind of like to see how we get along just living in the same city before we test living together though. But financially, I might need him! NYC sure isn’t cheap. But what am I worrying about it now for? Its like 2 yrs away!  In the mean time I like looking up apartments and seeing what they have to offer. uhg, I could keep talking about this so I am just gunna shut up now! I am so excited, I dunno if I can wait two years!