I’ve Been Dumped–>and tagged

Well so not much is new. I am sitting here at work AGAIN. I should be working on my logic’s thesis but I just can’t get my brain to cooperate and damnit, I am just not smart enough for that class. Nothing I write will even get me a B I am sure of it. I don’t know all the big words in the stupid text book and its frustrating. So tomorrow, when I get outa class, I am gunna sit down, punch some keys on the pc, get the paper over with and just turn it in. Whether its crap or not! I just want this semester to end, lol. It has been the hardest one!

Well I wrote about how I made this new friend at work? Sam? yeah I wrote about her. We were getting along really well, she made efforts to hang out or call me and stuff and we had gotten pretty close. Well as close as I would let myself this time. But then like I said a few entries ago, she had gotten moody and anything I said she would twist my words around and I’d end up feeling like this bad guy or some stupid idiot. Granted I’m not, but I couldn’t help feeling that way at the time. But alarms starting going off in my head about this girl when she would read me notes that were left about her and for her on Myspace.com from people back home in North Carolina and everyone hated her. They all talked about her bad attitude and how she screwed them all over. But I overlooked it because I know how friends can be when they banned together, it has happened to me. I thought I would be her friend so she didn’t have to feel all alone and I wouldn’t be all alone. But now I NEVER hear from her, and it appears she has made a new "best" friend. Its pretty immature. It reminds me of gradeschool when you’re like sisters one week, and the next week you’ve lost interest and you have a new "sister." I guess in a way my feelings are kind of hurt. Even though I didn’t want to I let my guard down and cared about her and looked past her faults, or what I think were her faults and let myself be her friend anyway. I still kept part of me at bay though. I don’t want to allow myself to become hurt by a "best" friend like I have in the past. But from the way she talked, its like she had the same problems I did with friends and thats what kind gave us our "bond." But I guess friends don’t seem to last anymore. It is so easy to move on to the next one ….and I am tired of being forgettable.

It is sad though how easily replaced a person is. Like when some one better comes along. Its like marriages these days. People go into relationships thinking, oh well if it doesn’t work out, there is always divorce! Everyone takes special relationships..intimate or pure friendship for granted so often, and then wonder why they end up alone, miserable and unsuccessful in the end. Friendship to me is so crucial in life. Everyone needs a friend they can count on, fight with and count on again. It may sound pathetic and desperate, but thats all I want. I don’t want to be cherished for two weeks and forgotten in the third. But I showed some of Sam’s childish ways in my last e-mail so I am really not surprised. Just mostly dissapointed.  I should stop expecting so much from people, then maybe I wont feel so often let down, lol.

And the best friend I was having problems with before all this mess decided she wanted to work on our friendship. Which is great, we have been friends far to long to end it over something so stupid and petty. I told her how I felt, I was totally honest and we are slowly going from there. We’ve been talking a little bit for over a month, things are still a little…ackward between us but hopefull with time and determination we can move past it. I don’t think things will be the same as they once were, because I have changed, but at least us being friends is better than us not having anything at all.  We went out dancing Saturday night, it was a good time for the most part. She ran into some asshole she knew, (who was completely and utterly rude to me) and she was so wrapped up in his giving her attention she forgot I was even there. I wont even go into how this guy treated me coz I am in a fairly good mood, but she did apologize later when she realized how upset I was. I accepted her apology though. I am going to work really hard at just trying to let things roll off like water. I’ve learned people will come and go in your life. But the people who are meant to stay will work hard at it. And I need to focus on that.

************ ON ANOTHER NOTE…..TAGGED

The Rules: The first player starts with the topic "5 random/weird facts about yourself." The people who get tagged next need to post an entry about their 5 random facts as well as state these rules clearly. In the end, you must post the names and/or diaries of the 5 people you wish to tag. Leave a comment saying "you are tagged" on their diaries and tell them to read your site

5 random/weird facts about me:

1) My nose is a little crooked.

2) I collect Victoria’s Secret nighties… >=)

3) I wasn’t kissed until I was 18

4) I sleep with pillows behind so it feels like there is some one in bed with me.

5) I like Prince! =0 !!!

I’m tagging:

Slips & Tangles
Geoffrey Beattie
CORYBAKERNL
disconsolation