I Was Remembered

    -That was the most flattering day I have had in some time.

Every Monday-Wed-&Friday I have an hour between my math class and my Women’s Lit class so to kill time there’s a small couch right in front of the door of my Lit class that I have claimed as my own and I sit there for an hour. I usually finish reading my assignment for my class or read for my correction’s class later that morning. Every day a prior English teacher will pass by me on her way to the elevator or something. Occasionally some one will get to my couch before I can, but not very often, and when she sees some one in my spot as I approach she’ll refer to my spot being taken, what will I do? The moment’s for me are usually ackward when she begins a conversation, I know who she is but I get the feeling she is trying to place me when she begins speaking to me.

 Which is understandable since she has had so many students prior and after me. Well, last Friday she was walking down the hall as was I, and as I got to my coach I noticed another man had already claimed it as his that day, and as usual she asks me "What will you do now?"…I kind of laugh and say "I’ll take this chair right here."  Ackward silence and she goes to the elevator and goes down. So I get myself comfy in the big, oversize chair and open my note book to work on a poem that is trying to work it’s way through me, but there are more cross outs than actuall stanzas, phrases…or words period, lol. Then she returns and stops in front of me and goes;

"I’ve had you in my class before haven’t I?"  
  "Yes" I say. "It was EN140, during the summer. ’05 I believe." (EN140 is an advanced writing class)
"Oh yes! That’s right!!  Your name is Hanna"……"Hanna…."…."Hanna Pa…" and she says my last name. Which is surprising because it’s not easy to remember, let alone pronounce.
 I replied, "That’s right. I’m shocked you remembered *chuckle*"
Then she says…"I remember you because I remember you were such a great writer. Powerful. Yes, a wonderful writer." "What are you doing with it now Miss P?"
"Nothing" I say. "I am a criminal justic and psychology major. "
"That’s a shame. You have so much potential. I wondered where you were in your college career. You belong here in the English building. Do you still write?"
"No…I seem to have lost…the ability I guess."

We talked for a moment longer and she praised my work again then  walked to her office. I was stunned. She’s the head of the English department. A college professor and she praised my writing! To me it felt like I won the Pulizter Prize! I mean it always flatters me when people close to me say something is good, but sometimes I wonder if they say it because they care for me, because even stuff I have considered terrible have been "praised" you know? This was so much bigger. The ultimate praise.

And while it flattered me, and made me feel like I was floating on cloud 9, I also felt the high coming down because I can’t write anymore. It just wont come. I keep looking for the inspiration …but it never comes. Every once in a while I’ll get these great words in my head…profound thoughts…but when I write them down they never seem as good.

Maybe some day my words will come back to me. ….Maybe I should search out ….inspiring questions..or writing exercises.  Or maybe some one could ask me an "inspiring" question?? to get my brain started….to make it think…Force it to crank something..anything out!