I don’t have a clever title. This will have to do.

The visit to KY went well. I wish I had had more time with my God-kids and their mom but unfortunately work is always calling. They did get me the cutest present though. It was a dog tag that said "Nima of 3 ARMY brats" and listed each kid with their respective birthdates. Except for sleeping I wear it all the time. Makes me feel close to them even when I can’t be there. Tyler, the middle one, is almost 3 and is slower to talk than his older sister was and said "Nima" for the FIRST time while I was there. My heart nearly melted AND exploded at the same time. It took bribery to get him to say it but I don’t even care, haha. We have a special bond that I don’t have with the other two and that he doesn’t have with anyone else (except his mom) so him saying my "god-mother" name made the whole trip. The baby, Bella doesn’t like me much yet, haha. She was all smiles and giggles with me as long as her mom was holding her, but if I tried she’d last for 10 seconds and start crying. Of course she’s teething and doesn’t know me very well yet and she’s very aware of when mom is or isn’t in the room so I didn’t take it personal. She’s super adorable though and I would have like to cuddle her more!

It felt good to be able to talk to Na about Frank though. She has never met him and I have been pretty honest with her about everything through out this whole ordeal and while she’s protective of me she’s also very neutral. SHE thinks I should give the guy a year before moving on, her husband says 6 months, and everyone else is like MOVE ON NOW! I am doing better though. I have more good days than bad, and I am even considering "Dating." Although the whole thing terrifies me. I have never "dated" anyone really. I have been in a relationship my whole dating life, lol. I just feel like I have to much baggage to be getting into that scene right now. I have absolutely zero trust, and as much as I hurt and am angry at Frank I still harbor too much love and hope. Just doesn’t seem like a fair trade to whoever I end up "dating." Where would it go? And I am not really a person who can jump from one person to the next. Im usually a pretty controlled person, and the idea of socializing with the opposit sex terrifies me, it’s so uncertain.

Anyway, things otherwise are pretty good. I am pretty happy that I only have THREE car payments left before that sucker is paid off and belongs to me and not the bank. Once it’s paid off I will not be so strapped financially. I feel like I am finally getting my head above water and reaching shallow grounds. The weather is warming and I can finally plant my garden and my veggies & herbs, and that excites me. I am thinking of taking a trip up to Michigan to see Billy and meet the rest of my family up there. I may even drive into Canada and play around Toronto for a few days just so I can say I left the country this year! I have a friend that I have known online since I was 12 who lives there, I dunno that we’d meet up exactly but it would be pretty cool if we did. He’s a cop and since that’s the field I am going to school for (criminal justice) we always have plenty to talk about when we chat. He told me to keep ’em posted but we’ll see. Unless someone goes with me I don’t know how smart it would be to go alone. Probably not very. 😉

I have been having some pretty bad back trouble though. =(  It stems from a horrible car accident I was in when I was 15. I had two years of chiropractic work done after the accident and a year of physical therapy, and last year I went BACK to the chiropractor but it’s just not cutting it anymore. Having a job where I stand for hours and hours on hard concrete floors doesn’t help either. I hate that I am having so much trouble at 25 years old but I’d rather get it taken care of now than when I am older. I wont settle for pain medicine though. Someone just needs to FIX my back so I can be done with it. (There was a lot of spinal damage done as a result of the accident, curvage in several locations where there shouldn’t be and over crowding in other’s as a result. Along with fractures =( . ) Before I go to bed now I do a lot of yoga poses because it relieves some of the pressure but by midday the next day it’s back again. Bleh. Didn’t really help having two toddlers jump all over me like I was a playground. But I went gifted with sugary treats for them so it was my punishment…lol

(View from the Arch)