—-^^^^^^^^^^^ Heartbeat. See?

 So I am alive, well, and awful for neglecting my OD. Life just seems to get the best of my time here lately. My promotion finally came through two weeks ago tomorrow. Since becoming the new supervisor I have put in a crap ton of hours, which I don’t mind really because the over time on my check will be nice. While I know I can handle all of the new responsibilities I am still weary of messing something up, or being a let down. I know I am bound to make mistakes in the begining but I fear any one that I make will some how disappoint my higher-ups. Not to mention we are desperately short desk help so I am having to still cover those shifts myself PLUS take care of all my new responsibilities. I show up off the clock to get those things done and my boss kind of harps on me for being there since I am not salary. When else am I supposed to get my stuff done though? I don’t exactly mind working off the clock, I don’t feel cheated or anything, and it’s only and hour here or there, but when all my work is at one property and I am working at another…what choice do I have really? None.

B seems to have drifted off my planet for the most part. It started long before she got her promotion and I am not surprised really. People have always stayed in my life a short while before moving on. I am not sure what they get from me exactly before they go but, whatever. She was starting to get super bitchy and hard on me. Her and Aaron became "exclusive" and she started keeping any free time open for him. We went from talking every day to just nothing. Now whenever we see each other she’s always asking me if we are "ok" which is a bit rediculous. She says anytime she asks me something I "snap" at her, which is also crazy. If I snap it’s because I am tired of her tone. She tends to get real pissy if she offers you advice or instruction and you choose to do it another way, regarding my life or work. So eh, maybe I did snap. I personally don’t think I did, I think she’s sensitive or something. Who knows. The reason it took her so long to get moved up (and this came straight from management) is that she doesn’t know how to talk to the low totem-pole people. She tends to come off like she’s smarter and better and you’re just a RETARD. I usually just let it slide when she got that way with me because we were friends, but it was a common complaint from others. She is smart and she knows her job very well, maybe the supervisor position just went to her head. Who knows. I kind of miss the caring B I met last year. She was a great friend. I am sure when the Aaron thing doesn’t pan out she’ll come back around. Eh–girls are stupid friends. Too much drama. 

I’ve still been successful on the whole weight loss business. For the first time in my life I am in the single digit numbers and it still amazes me. It feels good, every time I put the clothes on I feel amazing. It’s an instant mood lifter. Maybe that comes off as superficial but to me it’s a huge accomplishment. For the first time in my life I am developing self esteem and confidence, and I think it’s showing. It’s a bit freeing. A lot freeing actually. I have even been on a few dates….they didn’t pan out, which is fine. One guy took me out several times, and while I enjoyed being around him and we had a decent time, it felt more like hanging out with a cool friend. (OUCH). I think he liked me way more than I was into him, so I kind of let it fade out. I felt bad, he is a great guy but it just wasn’t there for me. So eh, keep trucking right? I’m still young. =)

I still sometimes tend to have to babysit DB. Not often though, I’ve been keeping my distance for the most part.   There was a scary night when he and I were over at Aaron’s (who invited me and him but not to our knowledge until we both showed up)  and we went from having a great time to Aaron practically beating DB to death. There was so much blood every where and it was quite possibly the scariest night of my life. DB is a much smaller man than Aaron and Aaron just went to town on his face with his fist. Ugh, I got DB home and cleaned up and the wounds were atrocious. I am pretty sure Aaron fractured his jaw and maybe his skull. I am not really sure what the fight was over because I had left the room to use the bathroom and when I came out Aaron was yelling and had already gotten a few blows in and then he was at it again. I did the unthinkable and pulled Aaron off of DB (I know I know) which was no easy feat. I just remember DB being covered in his own blood and blood smeared all over me somehow. It was like someone had been butchered. Supposedly they "worked it out" the next day, but DB hasn’t seen or spoken to Aaron since. The amount of damage Aaron caused was extensive, I can’t imagine what was said to have made him THAT angry at his best friend. I mean they are grown men, 30 somethings you know? Talk shit out, teenagers fight.  I know Aaron was pissed at some things I had told him about what has happened between DB and I,…there were some instance we DB drunkenly tried to man-handle  me and left grab marks on my arm and Aaron saw them one night when we were hanging out…and I had to stop him then from driving right over to DB’s and beating the shit out of him then…but time had passed since that happened with DB and when Aaron saw the bruises. I don’t really think I was the cause of that fight though. I mean maybe DB needed his ass kicked and sense beat into him, but Aaron was like Mel Gibson in The Patriot and just went into over kill. He kept hitting and hitting and hitting. UGH. I am staying far away from those two together. 

I have been writing again though. There have been slow moments at work where I actually have inspiration. Right now they’re not organized, everything is written on scraps of paper I have found at that moment here and there. I just haven’t had the time or energy to sit down and really do anything with them. It felt good though to finally get something out of me. Maybe I will post them on here, I am not sure really. I don’t think they are anything great or moving, but they are great release pieces. 

Anyway, speaking of work. I must go in search of food, a shower, and get into the uniform…and head in a little early to get that work done! Tomorrow I am off and going to the river with a friend to swim. It’s a pretty cool place. Big rocks and bolders you hike down and jump right into this clean and fresh water….on a hot summer day. I can’t wait.. =) 

I don’t plan on going so long before another entry. Hopefully my life slows down into some normalcy once we get people trained and on their own… fingers crossed.