Great Expectations.

     So I am days away from my paycheck with over-time and I am pretty sure my old AGM is going to cut me a check today for the website work I did on my days off this week. Looks like I will be getting my couch SOON! Thank God, my air-mattress/psueydo couch is not fairing well anymore, ha ha. I also found a nice dining room/bar table that I would like for my little apartment. One thing at a time though. 

    Sunday night I invited Drummer Boy to the driving range for Thursday via text and the next day he enthusiastically responded wanting to know time and dates…Every day after that he kept texting and asking if it was still on..(BTW it is quite possible I am the WORST golfer on the planet) and I told him yeah, we could meet up when I got off work. Yesterday about 30 minutes before I clocked out I got a text from ’em asking me to call when I got off….which I did…AAAAANNNDDD he bailed. Something "came up."  I told him it was cool, not to worry about it. He went on about how bad he felt and how he definitely wanted to rain check and blah blah blah. I told him it really was OK and that I hope he enjoyed the rest of his day off. He seemed confused by my indifference to him not coming that he kept apologizing. 

"So I’ll see you tomorrow at work then Hanna?"
"Umm, nope don’t think so. I believe we work different properties this weekend." 
"Oh."  ……"soon then I hope."
"We’ll see!"

I had to laugh.  I called and told B the funny conversation and she bet me 10 bucks I’d hear back from him within 48 hours because it will throw him off not knowing why I didn’t sound disappointed when he bailed.  This morning I woke up to a voice-mail from him apologizing again. 

Good thing payday is near..lol

But he doesn’t owe me any explanations. We aren’t a couple, or dating, we aren’t anything. It was just supposed to be a beautiful day and I thought it’d be fun to go hit some golf balls. 

Really, I expect people to bail on their word. I guess that’s a pretty cynical way to be, but I have never really had many people who have been good on their word…And I mean people who make promises or plans and then come up with LAME reasons to back out. The times I have had to break plans or promises it eats at me. The idea of disappointing someone will ruin my entire day. I don’t want someone thinking of me what I think of other people..lol…if that makes any sense. 

I have learned though, that if you don’t expect much from people you won’t be disappointed. This way, when they come through you’re pleasantly surprised. I remember even as a little kid some one disappointing me and I always said I understood and never showed them how upset I was. They were always off the hook. 

I remember this being a problem with my friend in the past…..I was always calling her or making plans with her and she’d bail last minute or never make an effort to contact me…I was always upset with her for making me feel like our friendship was a one way street. I just learned to expect her to not keep her word just so I could avoid being upset with her all the time because I always felt let down. Things are different now….we’re older and grown up, more mature…Life keeps us busy and sometimes it’s hard to stay in touch so obviously I think differently…in fact I am awful at not contacting her more. My life isn’t nearly as full as hers so I don’t really have a good excuse…

Anyway, I stopped putting my stock in what people told me. I guess I expect everyone to be talking out of their ass…how often do they really say what they mean? Or do what they mean?  As a rule, most, not all, people are flakey. 

Even my mother can’t keep her word. I think that’s an entirely different entry though…lol…would probably require therapy if I delved into that can of worms.

It ended up being a nice relaxing evening for me. I got a bottle of wine, some strawberries and take out and just lazed around watching movies, painting my toe nails and reading in a bubble bath. 

Have I mentioned I LOVE having my own space? It’s wonderful….