For Without Him I Am Nothing???? Maybe

Hey I have Friday night off! And look where I am, alone in front of my computer, haha. But its cool actually. My mom works late tonight so I have the house to myself. I just got out of the shower and I put on this nighty thing got me for Christmas a couple years ago from Victorias Secret. It’s nothing "naughty", but it sure makes me feel….pretty when I wear it.  Especially since HE gave it to me, I feel extra sexy or pretty in it. =) Of course if he were around it wouldn’t be on long. He prefers the suit I have on underneath, haha. Or so he constantly reminds me. But I shaved and put lotion on everywhere, now I feel so silky and smell nice too. I think when I finish this entry I will paint my toenails and when they dry, crawl into bed with a good book.  I have to be at work at 7am, so I can’t stay up too late.

I took pictures yesterday with my camera phone and sent them to Frank, just being silly and he just kept going on and on about them. He really liked them, haha. He says I looked happy, like truely, carelessly happy, and thats why he liked them. I suppose at the time I was. It was so pretty outside, it was fairly warm, and the sun was shining, and I was waiting for mom to get off work so we could go eat at the Olive Garden. I was sitting in my car with every window down, even the sun roof, had music playing, the wind blowing into the car….If I were anything else than happy I would have probably needed to be seen by a therapist, lol. But more than anything I love that he loved them. I am pretty insecure, well REALLY insecure, but he does a good job of making me feel like the only girl in the world. He helps me inch my way out of my shell. Honestly can’t imagine my life without him in it. Just thinking about it makes it hard to breath!

I don’t have any classes next week, so at least I have a FULL seven days to sleep in. I am such a nicer person when I get plenty of rest! I also plan on finishing my spring cleaning. I didn’t really do any the past two days like I talked about doing, but I am just so tired all of the time that finding the motivation to get up and do something when I have free time sounds horrifying. I want nothing more than to just lay around and do zilch! The semester is even drawing to an end and I am contemplating on whether or not I want to take summer courses. I know I should, but the thought of not getting a break from school for a whole summer sounds as horrifying as finding motivation to go wash the dishes right now, lol. I think if I take any summer classes I am going to look into some online courses, so I have more free time.

I am also looking forward to whatever trip Frank and I take this summer. He hasn’t got to travel in a long time, (and he LOVES traveling) and I haven’t gone on a REAL vacation in three years when I went to Mexico.  I just hope he doesn’t blow all his travel money on computer gadgets like he’s prone to do, lol. But even if I just get to go to NYC again I will be happy. I love it there so much. I can never get tired of all the people watching I can do there, or the different foods I can try, or the different shops I can visit. Its like this endless supply of things to do or see.  I’ve been looking at a lot of apartments online too. There seems to be a lot of places to rent, which is surprising with the vast amount of people that live there! Frank even talks about when I move there, which is odd for him because he never talks about the future. He doesn’t trust it. So I know he’s even getting excited about it.

I can’t get away from talking about him. I just don’t have anything else exciting or interesting to talk about. He’s the only friend I have, so he’s usually the only person other then my mom that I actually have conversations with. Especially since that whole "friend" thing went down. Frank was talking about how he was spending tonight with his friends, going to the movies and stuff and for a minute I started to let myself get bummed because I don’t have that, but right after he logged off I forced myself to snap out of it and to quit feeling sorry for myself. I just have to keep telling myself that MY day will come ya know? And that really all I need in my life right now is work, school, and Frank. I don’t have time for anything else. So if I put all that energy of being sad and feeling lonely into other productive things, then I won’t have time to have those feelings. It seems like the easiest conclusion to me. I mean I have my dear friends online I can talk to occasionaly, so I am not totally without, =).

Well, I just was feeling contemplative in the shower and thought I’d come in here and write for a short while. But now I am going to go give myself that pedicure or toe nail painting and crawl in between the sheets and get comfy. Seems like the best course of action! So I hope everyone is having a great Friday night.