Fading Away…Hopefully

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Well, I guess it has been a very long while since I have written in here.  My subscribers know how I am though!

 

I don’t even remember what I wrote about last time in here, I hate to go back and read through how pathetic I sound, haha.

 

Financially things are VERY rough on me. I am having a difficult time paying things. Some months I catch up on some bills and fall behind in others, other months I catch up the ones I fall behind on and leave the ones that are caught up unpaid. I just can’t seem to get my head above water and I am not really sure how to remedy the situation. I have considered calling a debt consolidation company and seeing how that works, I am just so afraid that they’ll deny me help and then I will just go on feeling hopeless. To be honest, I am not really sure how it affects my credit by consolidating debt and getting things lowered. I know eventually it will all work out..I guess I should research some companies and see what they can do. That’s the only way right?

 

Maybe that’s something I can do tomorrow, research and call some places and try to get that all figured out. I am also looking to get another job that pays several dollars more an hour, and as soon as a position opens up I know some one who can refer me. It’s a day job and will make college kind of complicated. Either I can work a day job making WAY more money, get myself out of debt and I can finish school in NY a little late, or I can finish school now and then be in so much debt I’ll never get to move to NY. LOL, either way I am behind in the goals I want to achieve. I can also try to get into as many night and online classes as possible. That isn’t always a guarantee though. I really don’t have to make the decision yet though, unless I actually get the job where I can make more money. I should just go live with Kitty and let her support me while I go to school, haha. She did wonders for her boyfriend! 😉 Helping him reduce debt I mean..by the way.

 

On the FAT front. I have gained entirely TOO much weight. About 4 weeks ago I was complaining about it once more to Frank and he offered to pay for me a GYM membership for Christmas if I promised to wear a super sexy Ninja costume by the next Halloween. I figured that was awesome motivation and agreed. Mind you, he hasn’t once put me down for gaining weight or made me feel like he loved or adored me less. He does worry about me, and how I perceive myself, and my health. And on and on. But I truly believe that is out of love for me. Anyway, turns out I get free GYM access through the college, so that put a damper on the wager, haha. He made it a little more interesting. I am SO incredibly opposed to anal (and he picks on me for it because he thinks its fun) that he said if I didn’t reach my goal by the next Halloween, I’d have to give him anal. Well, that’s motivation enough for me; I am so not letting that happen!!

 

So the week of Thanksgiving (I know, stupid right?) I started my diet and exercise routine. Since then, I have not had fast food, candy, chocolate, cake, sweets, soda…Nothing I have eaten has been fried, or battered. I have drunk nothing BUT water, I eat oatmeal every day for breakfast, snack on apples or a granola bar, sometimes eat a salad for lunch or dinner, the only meat I eat is chicken. Once a week I allow myself a red meat. Tonight I am making salmon sautéed in a white wine, whole grain brown rice and broccoli. For dessert, I got myself some raspberries. I have also been spending 4-5 days at the gym for about an hour. Some days I push myself to do an extra thirty minutes.

 

I have seen results already. I have lost three inches in the bust, 4 in the waist, 4 off the hips and butt, 2 off the thighs and calves. They’re small results, and I am proud of myself. Already I can put clothes on and not have to suck everything in to get them on. My tummy feels flatter, and literally ALL of the bloat is gone. I noticed that the most, and I am positives it’s because I have cut sodas completely out of my diet.

 

I am not allowing myself any of the things that I absolutely love until I have the power to control myself with those things. I am really working on my self-control, and I am very proud of how I’ve been doing. I told myself if I lost a dress size by new years, I’d allow myself chocolate on Valentines Day. I want to lose two to three dress sizes by March, which is when I go to my first bridesmaids fitting for my best friends wedding. I want to be the hottest bridesmaid, hee hee. I’m really excited to see my progress by next year. I haven’t started weighing myself yet, I haven’t had the guts, so I am waiting to go down one dress size before I weigh myself. I think I have probably lost ten pounds or so.

Ooops, gatta go!

 

I definitely have more to write though…so…

 

                        To be continued….