Did You Watch As She Bent To Pick Them Up?
My mom called me last night at work to tell me we have a strange Christmas admirer. I guess as she was walking into the house with grocerys two Christmas cards fell to the floor. However she didn’t notice them until after she set the bags down and went to shut the front door. She said they had our names on them and she opened hers up and inside was a beautiful card and a walmart gift card fell out. When she looked at mine the name was spelled wrong, with an H at the end. Well anyone who knows me personally knows I don’t have an H at the end of my name..but one person always spelled it that way….weird…but besides what hallmark had to say there was no signature or comment or anything. Mom went to walmart then to see how much was on it. She thought if it was like 5 or 10 dollars it might have been a neighbor or something…but it was like 50 bucks!
I know who it was…
My mom broke up their relationship, “engagement” this past April when he said something out of anger. They had been together for 4 years and I had grown to love David…not so much as a father but as a big asset to our family. He’s the only one who would stop the world to do whatever he could for us or for whatever he wanted. Even if it put him into debt. He had mental problems..and physical/health problems..and the past two years he’s just ..I don’t know..just become an invalid..my mom never truely loved him, I think she kept him around because he always did give us what we wanted..I don’t know..She wouldn’t even let him touch her..She finally called it quits in April when I spent my first night with Frank and he had some things to say about it. I have felt horrible about it all ever since..I know he had problems..and I know he did crazy things that annoyed us..and he was lazy..and ate up all the food as his depression and health problems got worse..but he also had this huge heart and I knew he loved us more than he loved anything..and while my mom may have stopped caring…I didn’t..he’s the only one who would move heaven and earth to protect us..and to stay in our lives..and she pushed him out..she wont even answer his emails or calls..its like once he ran out of money he was no good…I’m not proud to admit thinking that about my mom..but its true..And I can’t help feeling that he didn’t deserve her in some ways…if she knew he wasn’t what she wanted, why drag it on for four years? Why get people’s heart involved?
We have spent every Christmas with him since he got together with my mom..and I am sure he left the cards unsigned afraid we wouldnt accept them if we knew who they were from…I don’t understand if that was the case why he didn’t just mail them..why drive 2 1/2 hours to drop off cards? Was he hoping we’d be home? Or did he sit and wait until we both left the house unknowing? Has he done it before?
I cried on the way home from work…I guess I might be a bit silly..or sentimental…but it hurts..I miss david..even as much as he did things to annoy me I still truely cared about him. I opened up my heart to him more than I have let myself with anyone else…I always thought he wouldnt dissapoint me..that he wouldnt just walk out..so here’s this man..who loves my mom so much, that he does it from a distance because my mom has practically banished him from our lives..or hers rather…I am sure he feels like I feel the same as she..but I don’t…and it makes things awkward for me..I got mad that the only reason she went back out of the house at midnight was to see how much was on the card…I don’t like that side of her sometimes..
I sent him an e-mail…and heres what it said basically…
–“I know it was you that left the cards at the door…did you drive all that way just to drop them off or were you hoping we’d be home?? My card was beautiful..I wish you had signed it though. I know you probably think we wouldn’t have accepted them from you but I would have…I am sorry things worked out the way they did and that we wont be able to spend Christmas with you..but I still wish you a beautiful christmas with your family..and a new year filled with hope and happines…i will think about you during the holidays….thanks david..”–