Curly Hair and Blue Finger Nails

Ok so here’s another time wasting entry because i still have 7 hours and 15 minutes left of work. The night shift is quiet though. We had a full house so I won’t have anyone to check in. I can do my paper work and read all night! I painted my finger nails blue to pass the time. It looks, wild on me. Like I have some kind of eccentric personality. I like being mysterious. But usually when people get to know me they realize I really quite simple. But if blue fingernails make me interesting, then I think i will keep them this color. I think it goes with my thick curly hair. Now I just need the dark make up to hide my eyes behind.

I am reading this really good book. (done with The Da Vinci Code btw, its definately a good read). Its called "Couldn’t Keep It To Myself; Stories from our Imprisoned Sisters" by Wally Lamb…he teaches writing to these female inmates and has them write stories about themselves. Well one day they ask him if they could publish their stories in a book. So he did. Man, some of these women, you can see where they go wrong. It isn’t necessarily always their fault either. Of course all the guilty ones say that too, lol. But their stories are so good. Well not good as in,….entertaining because heartache and betrayal are never good, but like their expressions and how they write, it really draws you in. You feel like you’re there, you feel their pain, understand their mistakes a little better. Some you can tell are just full of BS..But then again who isn’t?

My "best" friend called me last night. The first time in weeks, since I took her to six flags for her birthday in July. She wanted to borrow my atlas for her trip to michigan. I’m doing fine by the way, thanks for asking! Then when I said i’d leave it on my porch for her she jumps into how her boyfriend has been looking at engagement rings. I don’t know why I am so bitter. You’d think after so many let downs I would just be numb to it all and just move on. But I care about her and when we are together we do have a good time.. But I do know if I didn’t make the efforts she would forget about me. =/ its happened before. She said she would stop by last night to pick it up so she could see me before I left. I told her she should have called sooner because I wanted to just go right to bed, I had a final in the morning. Then my phone died…she never came to get the atlas this morning….hope she got there ok.

Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of my father’s death. It feels weird. To be thinking that at this time last year I was talking to Frank online because he had only been home a few hours and already I missed him like crazy. And how I had no idea that when I woke up the next day my father was plotting his own death..and followed through with it. Feels weird. Being fatherless now. I was before, he was never around, but there was always a chance that some day he would be..and now there’s not. It makes me sad..it definately hurts…I am thankful that when I go home in the morning I will be sleeping all day, and then I work. I wont have much time to think about it or dwell on it. As long as my mind is occupied I think I will be okay. *Crosses fingers*