Coming Out Of My Shell

     Bah, another boring night at work. But that’s okay, after I finish this entry I am gunna go eat a cookie and start reading chapter 8 in my criminal justice text book. (Ugh, the thing is incredibly fascinating!!) My God-mother from California is coming to visit again this year (next week) and we’re going to Nashville for three days. I’ve driven through Nashville at night but I’ve never go to stop and see the sights. I am not a HUGE country fan, but I did have a period in my life where it’s pretty much all I listened to, lol….But I love that movie "That Thing Called Love" With River Pheonix, Dermot Mulroney (swoons hehe) and Sandra Bullock….and in it is this cafe` called Blue Bird Cafe that is famous for country singers getting their start there!! It’s like a really GOOD, live kareoke. And it’s a real place so I am kinda excited about seeing it in real life. =)

    Frank has been extra nice to me lately. I think he feels bad for being so busy with school and this new job, lol. We’ve hardly got to speak the past month. But I send him nice little photos some times so he remembers not to forget me…and to remind him what he’s missing. 😉   He’s really excited about taking me somewhere this winter. He said, "I really want to take you some place different and romantic. And get the nicest room for us to stay in." Hehe….he’s so sweet. He also said….that since I have..come around..or "loosened" up about having my photo taken…like…intimately, he’d like us to take "artistic" photos of us. Not porn…he said, but something without our clothes, haha. I think I am okay with "artistic" but…if things start getting weird then I am out, haha. I thought about it though, and …..if people on here knew me before…I started writing in here, before I met Frank and before he became my first everything…they’d really see how long it has taken me to come out of my shell and become more trusting.

    I can tell you without a doubt that never in a million years would I be okay with taking "artistic" pictures with another person….I don’t even like HAVING my picture taken on a normal basis…But with Frank, I trust him so much. I know he’d keep them for us and only us, unless I said otherwise. And I think it sounds like it might be fun to do. Something very personal and something only for us you know? To look at and share in the experience. I used to remember thinking, "I am never going to perform oral sex on a guy because you never know where it’s been…he’d have to soak it 48 hours in bleach before I even would let myself consider doing it.." haha. I also said there’s no way in HELL I’d ever let a guy take….provactive photos of me/us….I felt those things would cheapen me. Isn’t that weird? But then I met Frank four years ago and all the silly, young girl notions I had completely changed. But here I am ….occasionly taking snap shots of myself (nothing too indecent, haha..I ams till very much a prude in some ways) …but more…PG material….and giving them to him. But I realize that nothing about it is cheap in anyway. I do it because I want to, because I want to see his reaction….especially because each time I do it I get more and more bold, haha.

  I dunno, I just find it funny that all the things I was against when I was a virgin, I am now willing to do..haha. Amazing what a hot guy and love can do for a girl. 😉    I’m sorry about this entry…apparently I am really missing him at the moment, lol.