We Hunched Together In One Chair Upon The Deck…

I got an email from my half-sister, Ashley, today on Facebook.  I looked at her friends list to see if my dad was on there anywhere (he’s not) and came across another half-sister of Ashley’s.  Which makes her my half-sister too.  I didn’t know I had another half-sister, just my half-brother who lives with my dad.

I don’t really know what to say here.  No one notes me, even when I write long entries that actually convey emotions.  You know, when people have family members in the hospital, usually a word or two of condolences and "I hope they get better soon" feel really awesome.  And I get nothing.

It feels like everyone I care about, except for a few select people, are ignoring me or avoiding me.  I almost don’t care anymore.  My life has been getting purged lately, and it feels good.  I don’t want to lose friends, but if they’re only shutting me out, what choice do I really have?  I can’t force it.  I can’t push it.  Besides, with the addition of Ashley in my life, I may just have one friend to replace one of the ones that keep pushing me out of their lives.  Plus, Candice and I are friends again.  Four years later, and everything is okay.  I never thought I’d be in this place in my life.

Now if I only felt reeeeaaalllly brave or extremely stupid/crazy, I’d email Robbie and see what I could do with that one.  Probably not much.

Bedtime.

– the bleeding heart show – the new pornographers –