On Hating Your Own Wedding.

Erik and I are engaged. I proposed to him near the end of September. Which means that now comes the insurmountable task of planning a wedding.

As it turns out, I don’t like this. I am, however, a planner by virtue of the fact that I like to have things organized in my head. Which sucks.

Planning a wedding is neither easy nor fun. Everybody has an opinion and they all want to share it with you. Everybody asks questions and when you don’t have answers, they look at you like you’re never going to make it happen.

Clearly, I’m an idiot because I’ve been reading wedding blogs for the last two years. I thought this would get me ahead, but I was horribly mistaken. In fact, it’s only served to confuse the ever-living fuck out of me. Do I want a daytime wedding or an evening wedding? Should we invite everybody or just our closest friends and family? What’s our budget? Wait… Why don’t we elope? But if we elope, do we tell anybody? Do we tell everybody?

MOTHER FUCK I HATE MY WEDDING.

So. What do you do when you hate your own wedding? A wedding that isn’t even anywhere near fruition. And did I mention that my beloved fiance is completely useless when it comes to any and all of this questioning? No? Oh. Yeah. Well, there’s that.

Warning: If one more person tells me that "men aren’t interested in planning a wedding" I will probably kill myself. If you feel the need to say that, don’t say it to me. I’m so goddamn tired of everybody telling me that it’s a "girl-thing" to be interested in weddings. I don’t want Erik to be involved in every aspect of planning our wedding – god knows I don’t even care about napkins, tableclothes, etc – but I need him to be involved to a degree. You know – the degree of planning that says, "this is HOW, WHERE, WHEN we’re getting married, WHO we want to have present at our wedding, WHAT the general idea of the day should encompass and WHY we’re marrying each other." That’s what I want his involvement to be, plus maybe some headhunting for photographers, etc.

So, what DO you do when you hate your wedding? Do you smile and nod while people make suggestions, when inside you’re screaming "SHUT THE FUCK UP"? Do you talk about it with anybody or just keep quiet? Because I’m completely lost. I have no idea what I want my wedding to be or how I want it to go.

If there’s anybody out there who’s been in this situation, could you please let me know what you did? I could really use the help right now.

Just Andy

January 15, 2012

I did have to smile, unfortunately, and just “accept graciously” stupid people’s advice. Eventually I just started telling people that it was a decision my fiance (now husband) and I would make together, but thanks for your input (cutting them off, of course). I’ve always been a big fan of punching people in the face, though. =P I hope things get better, and that your fiance takes an interest, as

he really should, since he’s pretty much involved. Love,

foolishathena

Oh, gosh…wedding planning was a nightmare. Mainly because of having to deal with a couple incredibly difficult family members and a musician. Our strategy was to sit down and decide what values we wanted our wedding to reflect(frugality,not increasing the size of the Pacific garbage patch, and our relationships with important people in our lives), and then build the wedding from there.

Also, once we set a budget, and decided what things were really important to us (plantable invites, photography, and awesome favors), the budget itself dictated many decisions. (We had a $7,000 wedding, which is medium-low, mileage may vary with this approach). Good luck, and best wishes in creating a celebration that reflects you and your partner and your love for each other.

l'anguish.

February 28, 2012

Warning: If one more person tells me that “men aren’t interested in planning a wedding” I will probably kill myself. fun fact: vaginas contain a little-known gland that secretes a steady flow of wedding hormones into the female bloodstream. since men lack this gland, they are physically incapable of contributing anything to the planning or execution of a wedding. whatever you do, keep it simple. if you want to learn from my experience and/or mistakes, i am available for consults.

p.s. it makes me so happy that you proposed. when we tell people our proposal story, people look at me like i’m from the moon.