Week End

Listening To: Follow You by Bring Me The Horizon

At work right now…everyone seems to think we’ll get done by 5am. Hope so. I can’t believe this week is almost over. I’ve been so exhausted and the energy to do shit like mowing the grass is nonexistent. I mowed the back yesterday, but I didn’t want to deal with the front. I think I’ll try and tackle it tomorrow. I need to make my grocery list… OH–and buy my Keto Diet shit. It shouldn’t take much money because it’s primarily greens. I need to start feeling better and I think this will help jump start my diet. D bought me some SlimFast 100 cal snacks from the commissary today. It was so sweet of him. He’s so thoughtful and to be honest, I’m in denial about him leaving next week. How does one accept that I’m going to seldom see him for three years unless I visit Hawaii? I got myself stressed out earlier this week about my school shit. I think I just need to buckle down and start saving money to pay for accelerating my degree. I think once my lawsuit is settled next year I should have enough money to pick up a course every term and I should be able to graduate by 2020 then. I am concerned about the workload since I already have enough on my plate, but I need to do this thing. I’m proud of my 4.0 and am not too accepting of the additional workload since it might mean I might not give the 110% I already to do but I will just have to handle it…

I’m working on my new album, I have a tentative name. I need to share it with Em because she loves that shit. I found a school here that I want to look into as far as piano lessons, I just need to see how much it costs monthly. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this creative in my life. It’s a good feeling, it’s like I’m comfortable with myself and if someone doesn’t like it, it’s becoming easier to think “oh well.”

I also have not been working out. I KNOW that is part of my issue. I don’t want to blame anything anymore. I know mentally, thinking about Gpa and D and a bunch of other things can be taxing on the mind. But working out feels so good to me. Cathartic. I am also going to try weaning myself off sugars and shit this weekend because it’s going to be what they call the “keto flu.” I can have caffeine from what I can see, so I can have straight up black coffee which doesn’t bother me too much. I know I won’t see the guys at Dunkin but I need to save money anyways. I think my lack of writing in either the intranet, here, or in my Toilet Confessionals (diary in the bathroom cupboard) has really been fucking with my mind. Maybe I’m not getting “it” out. I’ve just been really irritable.

Fuck me up the ass. I just searched and the moon is currently in Scorpio. No wonder why I’m being such a weirdo.

OK PEACE