alive, yesh I am.

Nope, not dead.  Just hibernating in the depths of despair as of late. 

November isn’t such a good month for me…hard to believe that tomorrow(11/16, since technically it is after midnight here and the 15th) will mark 2 years.  *sighs*  Sometimes I still feel an inkling to give her a phone call or send out a card.  Sometimes I still expect those things from her.  Last week I found myself sobbing over a pair of socks she gave me for my birthday.  Socks, you guys…socks.  I dunno.

So yeah, life is good here as it always is.  I just hit my little bumps and go into blaaaargh mode as Matt has been calling it ever so kindly.  🙂  Poor kid is always trying to cheer my lame ass up, I don’t think that he knew me moving in meant he would become a full time cheerleader for me.  I do alright on my own in time, I guess.  There are just some things I’m going to dwell on until I get over them whether I have someone there to cheer me up over them or not.  I’m too damn stubborn for my own good pretty much all of the time.

Today I scratched off a freckle.  Yeah, I need to go see a dermatologist about that soon like.  Naturally being the closet hypochondriac that I am assume that it is skin cancer and I will be dead very soon.  I also have a brain tumor and I’m pretty sure my heart is about ready to give out on me.  😀  Again, something Matt deals with on a daily basis but thankfully my closet hypochondria also comes along with a side of humor so at least I’m not 100% serious, only 99.5.

Man I’m a nice mommy, I just elbowed Widget in the head.  All I was trying to do was move around to cuddle him.  Waaaaaah!

Along with seeing a dermatologist I want to get tested for anxiety since(closet hypohchondria kicking in right…now) I am pretty sure I have some kind of anxiety disorder.  I fit quite a few of the symptoms and if anything I will find out if I need to be committed or just put on some form of pill for the rest of my life.

Onto happier things it’s getting closer to Christmas time and that means decorations are coming up!  Yay for pretty lights and decore!  I don’t think anyone knows how frigging grateful I am to not be working retail this time of year.  I can actually enjoy the holidays!  Now I just feel bad for those that are working in retail this time of year…damn guilt.

I picked up my knitting again…I kind of wanted to grab my camera today and take some pictures but I didn’t.  Maybe this weekend coming up I shall.  Feels nice to feel normal again although I am thinking that I won’t feel completely better until after Thursday.

Matt missed out on bowling tonight due to having to work some OT that he didn’t tell me about, the bastard!  😀  I bowled like poop as usual but I had fun with Mark and Diamond.  Before we bowled we tried out Bonefish for some good eats.  I had already eaten dinner with Matty earlier so I ordered a Creme Brulee that was to die for!  I insist on going back this weekend for some food, plus I could dress up semi-fancy pants and look sessy.

I think I am done rambling for now…I need to flip my Return of the King disc over to watch the second half anyway.  Later taters, hope you are all peachy keen like jelly beans!