A false sense of security.

 As I walked into the bathroom and flipped the light switch my eye was immediately drawn to some movement on the ceiling.  It was a house centipede; one of the many that insist upon sharing residence with Matt and I.  Normally they don’t bother me much, just find the random one in the sink or tub from time to time.  They tend to cause a mild heart attack in yours truly.  I think they think it’s funny or something.  So I had a feeling it was plotting against me though and kept one eye on it at all times.

I took my contact lens out, rinsed it and put it away for the evening.  I stood and stared at Mr. Legs while pondering if I should brush my teeth before or after I rinsed off in shower.  I chose to brush my teeth and walked out of the bathroom in hopes that Mr. Legs would travel out of the bathroom into any other room than the one I was in.  My toothbrush deemed I was done brushing my teeth so I rinsed my mouth, used my Listerine and then peeled myself out of my work-out clothes(the work-out being the reason I needed a quick run through the shower before bed). 

I walked back into the bathroom and continued to eye Mr. Legs as I opened the shower curtain and stepped over the ledge of the tub.  I turned on the water and waited for the water to warm up giving myself a kink in the neck after looking up for so long.  Once the water was warm enough I turned the shower on and started my routine: wash face, wash hair, wash body.  The face washing went on without a hitch.  Quick glance up to the ceiling – great, Mr. Legs hasn’t moved an inch.  Maybe he wasn’t plotting against me after all.  The hair washing was skipped – I decided I’d do that tomorrow morning.  I grabbed my shower poof and lathered it up with one of my many LUSH soaps; tonight felt like a vanilla night.  And it was a good choice as I smell very pretty now.

Once I was all lathered up in soap suds I moved under the shower for the rinse cycle.  I had been lured into a false sense of security: I shut my eyes.  While I was standing there enjoying the warm smell of the vanilla and the refreshing water I felt something creeping up my leg…  At first I thought it was soap suds and then I realized that soap suds don’t have that many legs.  I let out a small yelp and then hopped on one leg to get Mr. Legs off of me.

He tried to hide behind one of the frogs on the shower curtain liner.  Yeah right buddy, I wasn’t born yesterday.  I flung myself over the side of the tub and separated the two of us with the tub wall.  I shook the shower curtain and Mr. Legs fell off struggled to regain control of his many legs on the wet and slippery tub surface.  I grabbed Matt’s water cup(so very convenient) and filled it with water.  I dumped it over Mr. Legs in hopes that it would send him over to the drain for an elevator trip going down.  He flailed for a bit in the water and I felt bad for about a half of a second.  What if Mr. Legs had a family?

But you know what?  I didn’t care if Mr. Legs had more children than he had of limbs.  He was a suspicious character from the beginning and surely someone like that wouldn’t be a family man.

<p style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; “>RIP, Mr. Legs.  I am sorry your life came to an abrupt and watery end but you had that coming.