11/16/2009

 I’m not sure I can make it through this NoJoMoFoSoLo shiz.  My life is not particularly interesting.  Maybe I should try to dig a little deeper?  Going to try that … now!  PS – Anything that is said below is not meant to be taken personally by anyone, nor is it directed at anyone.  Thank you.  🙂

I don’t understand girls that are proud to call themselves bitches.  I don’t understand how labeling yourself as a bitch is a good thing.  I don’t understand how being mean, selfish and stuck up is something to be proud of.  I don’t understand people who are that self-centered think that it’s okay to be mean to someone else "just because you can."  Really?  You really aren’t the best thing since sliced bread, I promise.  Maybe it’s something I’m missing, maybe those girls aren’t really as shitty as they appear to be on the outside but because of that I don’t want to get to know them to find out.  Another thing I don’t understand?  Why GUYS like bitchy girls.  WHY?!  It’s always the nice ones, too.

I don’t understand people that think that everything should be handed to them in life.  And then get pissed off when it’s not handed to them and watch when someone else works hard for something and get jealous.  Granted I get kind of peeved when I DO see people get handed things in life, more so when they do NOT deserve it, but hey – that is life!  I think that a lot of people spend WAY too much time focusing on what others have and being jealous instead of working and trying to make it better for themselves.  My mom is that kind of person, she focuses so much time and energy on what she doesn’t have, why it’s not fair she doesn’t have it and how come life is so much easier for other people?  I always try to tell her to be positive, to think positive and then DO something in order to make a change.  If it doesn’t work out then you need to keep trying, step outside of the box you are in.  Do not derail yourself based on someone else’s "fortune."

It’s been 5 years since my Gramma died.  I can’t believe that.  I am sure she is keeping an eye on me and helping me grow into the person that I am becoming each and every day.  I call her my guardian angel because I’m pretty sure that’s what she was meant to be when she finally grew up, it’s too bad she couldn’t have been alive to be one of those.  I guess she kind of was though.

Okay I can’t write anymore, I have Planet Earth on and it keeps distracting me.  Later taters. 🙂

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“I don’t understand how labeling yourself as a b*tch is a good thing” — I hear ya on that. I don’t get it either. “You really aren’t the best thing since sliced bread, I promise.” — This actually made me laugh out loud. Probably because I’d LOVE to hear someone actually SAY it outloud to someone deserving. You know? So I could ‘hear’ that line in my head. I also agree very much with the what you have vs what you deserve argument. My sister is a little bit that way… She thinks that she should just get whatever she wants without working for it. In our family, it’s just not happenin’ sista. That’s not the cards we were handled. I figure life will catch up with her sooner or later. Not that I WANT to see my sister flat on her behind, but it’ll all catch up and happen… I can’t stop it… I can just attempt to be there when she picks up the pieces.

I used to call myself a bitch, but I was really unhappy then. And while I can be a bitch, and I pull it out of my pocket when I need it (because it CAN be a valuable tool… sometimes it’s the only way to get your point across, the only way to make someone listen), I know I’m not one of those girls. It just took a really long time to figure that out. But that’s what happens when you havepoor taste in friends, and every friend you have until you go to college calls you a bitch (and means it) on a regular basis.

I don’t understand either. And gosh..5 years? I’ve been reading you for a long time. Crazy. My grandfather died 14 years ago…I can’t believe that much time has passed.

November 17, 2009

RYN: I was leaning more towards the pink too… I think it’s more work appropriate and Jer liked it over the black. Most of my notes said the black is sexy. Which is nice if it was just Jer and I going to dinner… But I don’t think that’s really work party appropriate, you know? I think the pink is the “safer” choice.

November 22, 2009

its been about 3.5 years since my grandma and i miss her SO SO SO SO much…everyday 🙁