11/08/2009
As the minutes tick by and the time gets later I am wondering why I volunteered to go in for OT tomorrow. It’s really not so bad and I know that once I’m at work tomorrow any kind of regret will be gone but right now? Boy, am I sad I won’t be able to sleep in tomorrow. 🙂
Today Matt and I went driving around looking for furniture items we saw off of craigslist. We got a chest and drawer set for the bedroom(which will be sanded down and painted at some point) and a coffee table with 2 matching end tables for the living room. I’m browsing around online looking for rugs and figuring out what I like and what I don’t like. Oh, and what Matt does and doesn’t like too. I am really glad he and I have fairly similar tastes it makes things much easier when it comes to picking out decor. Up next on our agenda is finding BLINDS for this place since the windows are still naked.
I was thinking earlier about aging and getting old. And I was thinking that I don’t want to get old. Ever. I don’t want to die; I’m scared of dying. I guess all of us kind of are because it is the absolute unknown. No one really knows what happens after you die, it is so final. That’s it. The End. I find that very scary for some reason… I’m sure as time goes on and I do age I will come to better terms with it, I guess my feelings right now are just youthful notions. I sometimes wonder if my anxiety to go out and try new things and to just LIVE life is being caused by these fears that I have of dying. Or even getting hurt. Sometimes I think I’m pretty fucked up in the head.
The Cards won their game against the Bears today. 🙂 I am getting so tired of missing out on all of the games I want to see because I live across the country from both teams that I like. I will get to see Denver play tomorrow though as it is on Monday Night Football!
Alright it’s quarter to ten, guess I should go floss and brush and get my little butt into bed. Later taters. 🙂
You are not f*cked up. You are normal. *HUGS*
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I can’t sleep in much even on my days off. I’m up at 430a during the week but on the weekends I’m usually up by 6a. Which sure, is sleeping in… But not according to the rest of the world!
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Hun I am SO with you on the fear of death. It terrifies me, gives me knots in my stomach and if I think about it too long, I start to like almost hyperventalate. Truthfully… Thinking about getting older, thinking about starting a family, thinking about my future children getting older… ALL of that terrifies me.
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i am not as scared of actually dying as i am it being painful. dead is dead, nothing you can do really…i just dont want to suffer HAHA i really worry/am scared way more about other people dying because i cant imagine my life without them and the utter unreal complete sadness i would feel. i am not sure i could deal with it at.all. 🙁 but me? eh! LOL
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I’m not scared of dying per se, I’m scared of what happens afterwards. Sometimes I think about it, but I try not to. I think it gets in the way of life sometimes. Anyways, I hope your OT goes quick! Ashley
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The unknown is always a little scary! I think that your fears are normal and that the majority of the population fears death (some moreso than others).
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