sadness

I know i don’t come here as often as i would like because i’ve just been sooo busy doing a million things… and whenever i’m not doing anything i’m thinking of what i’m gonna do. Ok so I WAS queen of sales.. it appears that the girl made her order on the last day of august so it didn’t count towards her december thing… sooooooo anyways… i was queen 🙂 and i got my gold earring and i got recognize… it was a nice feeling 🙂  picture will be here later……..

ok so moving on…. once again i’m talking to matilde…. idk why.. i guess i feel lonely and have noone to share my stories and my life too… i think that’s what it is… Adriana well i havent’ talked to her in a few days/.. i guess shes’ too busy with her hubby. I"m soo freaking sick and tired of things somedays… geez idk what’s wrong with me.

the next thing and last thing i want to talk about is George… well it seems that me and him are not getting anywhere these days… we’ve been fighting so much and its getting tougher by the day…. today is one of those days where all i want to do is sit down in a corner of my room and cry it out. i’m a little gloomy… so he thinks i’m cheating on him… i mean its obvious i would think so too if i were him… i’m never home… the house is always a mess, i’m always dressed nice and my attitude towards him has changed dramatically… i’m not the same with him anymore.. and no i’m not cheating….. i just love my job. Mary kay has given me the opportunity to discover something new in me…. I CAN DO IT!! and i feel important recognized and feel beautiful, inside and out…. my self esteem has increased a lot… and i’m really happy for that… if he thinks he can make me feel bad by calling me fat and ugly well that doesn’t work with me anymore… i just say yep but i’m happy… he may think i’m ugly but that’s him… i feel beautiful….. so this morning we had an argument regarding all of this.. and so we ended up fighting over it and now he wants me to give him my money.. and i said no way i work my ass off to have what i do and to spend my money in whatever i like and i can’t do that… so guess what… he comes and says that now he’s not gonna pay my rent… that he is not gonna pay the car.. that we are gonna split it … he told he’s gonna get his own cell phone and pay for it… be my guest… what an asshole… but i dont’ care… now i just have to work harder and make more money to be able to support myself and my son.. i don’t understand how he wants to play the macho man in the house but yet refuses to support us like he should. people can be annoying sometimes…. i’m having a hard time with all of these.. i’m so behind on everything….

i’m not having a good day today.. everything seems to annoy me… i wish i could just go home.. unfortunately i can’t cause Cenobia’s having the baby soon and i have to be here in the office to just make sure everything is ok before she leaves…so i have to see what i can do… but i have to start working my ass off and i really am excited about it… i’m just gonna do it.. and make ends meet…. well now i just have to see what i can do in the next few days in order to pay for what i owe… other than that…. well i’m off on my own…this coming week i’m gonna be talking to Liana to see if she can lower the rent because i can’t pay for it so if i get all the rent deducted then i’ll make money off of him..and with that money pay the car loan.. and then i’ll be a little better.. just paying for electricity. ryan’s daycare and my phone… i need to do a chart, because i have to pay for credit cards too. so i guess i’m doing that today.. i also have to work a little with my parties and see how i can sell my product and of course finish my ladder because i need to do emerald… and so far i dont’ even have zaphire… omg… i’m going to panic. well i guess i’ll leave now cause i have a million things to do… be back soon 🙂