The Very Model of a Modern Attorney General

When testifying before Congress last week, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales was questioned about the US attorney firing scandal. His answer was “ I don’t recall” more than seventy five times. I don’t recall? He is a lawyer and as such, he is supposed to have a razor sharp mind, capable of picking apart minute details and memorizing gazillions of past court case precedents. I don’t recall? Is he the Attorney General or the Alzheimer’s General? Is this the movie “Fifty First Court Dates?” If he is really THAT unaware of the happenings at the Justice Department, or is too stupid to remember past meetings, then he is an incompetent lawyer and should be ousted as A.G. If, in fact, he was lying to Congress last week and remembers meetings and emails, then he is a crook and should be ousted as A.G. Welcome to America, the Land of the Fee, and the Home of the Paid. 
 
Speaking of money, I think churches in America could solve their financial problems by selling corporate sponsorships, just like sports teams. Welcome to today’s mass at Saint Marie Calendar’s Catholic Church. Today’s confession of sin is brought to you by Playboy Magazine. The Crown of Thorns on the Jesus statue is courtesy of New Era Cap. The cross and nails are complements of Lowe’s – let’s build something together! Our communion wafers are made possible by Wonder Bread. The Clergy Could sell space on their vestments like NASCAR drivers. Now heading for the altar is Father John in the Bud Light stole. 
Well, I think it’s a concept that could really work!