Take a Number

One thing I’ve noticed about San Antonio is the plethora of Mexican restaurants chains, which number their franchises, such as Taqueria Guadalajara #6, Naked Iguana #17, and Taco Mucho #69. I have to wonder why these numbers are necessary. Does one win a prize after eating at Tika Taco #1 all the way to #24? Maybe I’ll win free gorditas for life, or at least a large tub of manteca. Perhaps the numbers are there to help lost employees: “O shit, this is #22 and I work at #13. Dude, I am so hung over!” I suppose if a franchise opened up near M.I.T., it would be Taco Grande # 3 to the 4th power. Another popular chain in SA is El Pollo Loco (The Crazy Chicken). Sorry, but crazy chicken is too close to mad cow for my liking.
 
Currently my music appreciation class is studying Gilbert and Sullivan. Thus, I leave you with this little ditty :
 
I am a high school band director,
Music teacher and protector
I deftly deal with budgets small
And need i.v.’s of Demerol,
I catch misdeeds and juggle reeds
While students whine about their needs,
I teach the clarinets their parts
My tuba section sounds like farts!
 
(Breath)
 
I am a high school band director,
Music teacher and protector
I use my overhead projector
As a sharp and flat deflector,
The flutes and clarinets exclaim
That trumpets and the horns are lame,
I am a high school band director,
Music teacher and protector
 
(Musical refrain studiously avoiding parallel 5ths and octaves)
 
I am a high school band director,
Music teacher and protector
I argue with the principal
Who does not have a brain at all,
At concerts I get curtain calls
I should buy stock in Geritol,
I survive the bureaucratic gall
with copious amounts of alcohol!
 
(breath)
 
 
I am a high school band director,
Music teacher and protector
Advocate and intercessor
Articulation style obsessor,
And in this job I shall remain
Although some parents are a pain,
For I am a high school band director,
Music teacher and protector
 
(perfect cadence)