Drummer Fines

Drummer Fines – Updated List

-Setup / Equipment Offenses-
Brings a 26" bass drum – $25
Has more than one bass drum – $100.
Brings an 8" deep snare (for a solid back beat) – $50.
Brings more than 2 mounted toms – $25.
Has a tubular chrome bar that holds all his mounted toms – $50.
Brings more than one floor tom – $25.
Uses extra floor tom for ashtray & drink holder – $75
Brings more than two crash cymbals – $25.
Doesn’t bring a ride cymbal – $250.
Brings a 46" Chinese gong (for big endings) – $75.
Brings two timpani (for really big endings) – $100.
Brings extra splashes (Just in case) – $25 each
Doesn’t own any brushes – $300.
Owns brushes but can’t play them – $500
Has a hi-hat that is welded shut – $250.
Asks leader where he can plug in his headphones – $200.
Asks guitarist for help with unloading drums – $150
Wears dirty white Nike sneakers on tux gig – $50.
Tunes snare drum during the benediction – $175.
Tunes snare drum – $10

-Miscellaneous Offenses-
Is first in line at the party’s buffet -$50.
Asks where the "to-go bags" are at the buffet line -$100.
Asks the bartender for 3 "Purple Shooters" – $50.
Says to the bride "You’ve got a nice set of hooters" – $25.
Says to the brides mother "Hey this is a f#%*in’ good party"- $150.
Is ten minutes late for the next set – $25.
Is twenty minutes late for the next set – $10.
Never shows up for the next set – $1.
Excessive Sweating – $5000
Takes off shirt within the 1st 4 minutes- $48.00
Has no hair anywhere on his body-$32.87

-Performance Offences-
Plays eighth note rock ballad style on "Stardust" – $150.
Pretends to read chart with big band – $25.
Actually reads drum part for big band (note for note) -$200.
Asks bass player "Where are we?" on "Happy Birthday" – $1000.
Plays disco beat on "A Train" – $200.
Plays shuffle on "Mustang Sally" – $100.
Plays "Mustang Sally" correctly – Dismissal.
Takes fours on "The Bride Cuts the Cake" – $100.
Takes a break when the leader says "A request for Take 5" – $25.
Actually tries to play on "Take 5" – $150.
Asks leader what brushes are – $250.
Plays breaks in "Cute" with sticks – $50.
Plays breaks in "Cute" with Chinese gong – $5000.
Plays blast beats during "Johnny B. Goode" – $500.
Twrills sticks within 1st 8 minutes- $74.00
Twrills sticks again in same set  add $87.00 more

-Drummer Crimes-
Warming up on "60 Ways…" or "Rosanna." – $50.
LISTENING to Rosanna, even in private with headphones on – $50.
Extends solo in Zep’s "Rock & Roll" to 10 minutes – $1000.
Bringing a mega kit to a multiband gig. – $100
Breaking that kit down on stage after set. – $250
Asks bassist to move rig so third floor tom will fit onstage – $50 (per Sq. Ft.)
Extra logo stickers on bass drum head – $75 each.
Stick holders – $10
Drumming Shoes – $100
Drumming gloves – Dismissal
Double pedals – $500
USING the double pedals. – Dismissal
Wearing Zildjian T-shirt onstage. – $50
Roto toms. – $50 each
Extra deep kicks and toms. – $50 each
Glow in the dark drumsticks – $500
Asks keyboard player about GED test – $150.
Hits on singer’s girlfriend – $5.
Hits on club owner’s wife – $1000.

Uses the term "My Bad" for everything that happens in the entire world- $58.36