bodies
They both crave something: he, what’s between her thighs; she, her reflection in his eyes. Though the black box of each other’s intentions suggests the odds of these wishes being granted are uncertain, even the slightest sliver of hope delays the giving up of this timeless pursual, so — they go for it.
Skin guarded and praying he’ll be content with the equal and opposite gravity of their modest proximity, she has plans to deny touch until further plans are laid. Her eyes however are windows swung so wide open as if desperately taking in the air of her last spring.
Meanwhile, in a heightened state and at an enforced distance, he fixates on her, imagining an eventual collision of their orbiting bodies. Undeniably his eyes do meet hers, and in those moments she feels delighted, acknowledged — surely the sole occupant of his thoughts.
She is the sun beaming down on his earth, but for now burns too hot to get any closer. In time, either the heat will abate enough for her to receive his touch, or he will turn his back on this intervening distance and reach for the cool closeness of the moon.
The ideas in this are beautiful. I read it twice and wonder if it’s perhaps a little thick with words, but wow. Artistic and so true to life.
@mavis Thanks for your support as always Mavis! You know it’s weird, normally my regular poetry is quite simple and succinct, with few large or unusual words — yet my prose seems to be the opposite. It normally happens when my poem starts getting too verbose… either I can’t cram it in or the sentencey structure becomes too obvious. So it just spills over into this kind of thing, and I’ve accepted it will always be long-winded to some degree (The exception may be “the girl there”, one of my treasured pieces actually, have a read if you like). I also notice I describe things almost as a scientist would, in somewhat technical, distant language, and often as an observer.
I will make amendments if something jumps out at me in future readings (I seem to do that with all my stuff!), for now I’m sick of it, glad I finished it, and don’t want to see it anymore :X “Thick with words” is a good description actually, and I had that doubt myself when I finished it, but I think a light trimming is all it could take without losing itself (apart from a radical re-make, which I don’t have the stomach to try!).
@messupit You know I am always down to read your writing.
I like hearing about your process, too. My writing tends to be detached, too, but that is a product of the way I write for work – grant writing is explanatory, seldom emotional, not quite technical.
@mavis And I always appreciate it! (though you must never feel obligated… I love to be read but I mostly write because at times I simply must)
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