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I was away for a while. I went to Vermont. It is a pretty cool state – very political. They are a bunch of gun toting hippies up there. I had a lot of interesting discussions. Burlington is no NYC, but it was nice to get to visit a big city. I miss the food, all of the cool stuff to look at, museums with more than one featured artist and many bookstores. I had a Crème Brule donut – how awesome is that? Anyway, I went up there to see one of my soldiers from my last deployment. He has PTSD and got hooked on meth. They have him in rehab and my old LT thought I might be able to help him and encourage him. It was good seeing all of the boys, but I don’t think he’s going to get any better any time soon. He is cooperating, but only so they’ll let him go. Then, he plans to go back what he was doing. I don’t want to be so negative, and I know the VA won’t give up on him. I’m willing to do what I can for him.
The day was uncertain. I didn’t have my hearing aids in today. My ears were bothering me. Everything was muted and I found myself guessing – guessing at what song was playing, guessing what people were saying. I used to live like that every day, just sort of getting the gist. But, I’m spoiled by the blue hunks of plastic I stuff in my ears every morning. My hearing aids are blue. I figure, like glasses, if you have to wear them, you should like them. There is still somewhat of a stigma around hearing aids, which I don’t understand. People don’t have a problem with glasses. Why are people so ashamed of needing hearing aids? And, when people find out you wear them, they speak loudly, slowly and simply, which is silly – you needed them to speak that way BEFORE you got the hearing aids. Anyway, all of you stubborn, vain people, you need to grow up – if you need them, wear them and be proud. I love mine.
RYN: The abaya story seems odd to me. There is some irony in the fact that the garment is designed to cover everything, but the wearers got into trouble for being naked beneath. I suspect there is something we don’t know.
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Gun toting hippies is a very good way to describe Vermont. I’m amazed at how upper New England seems to embrace freedom and individualism while southern New England and southern New York state seem to gravitate toward uniformity and forcing everyone into a box that fits all. I’ve had a couple of friends who had PTSD. They were both functional and most people wouldn’t know it but we wereclose enough that they both shared their struggles with me. I know the temptation to self-medicate is strong, both my friends avoided that trap which certainly made long-term improvement easier for them. I think part of the stigma around hearing aids is that hearing loss is still treated as a disability while poor eyesight is not unless it’s impossible to satisfactorily correct with lenses. I couldn’t function without my glasses, if I needed hearing aids to fully experience my surroundings then I would welcome them as I welcome my glasses. I love the size of the city where I live. It’s not huge but it has a decent art museum and a friendly little zoo and botanical gardens. It suits me.
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RYN: I’m ok, I think. Haven’t been writing much. Been struggling with feeling suicidal, it’s the best I can do just staying alive at the moment. :/ Thank you for your concern. x
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Yeah, I need to get my hearing checked and look into hearing aids. People have been saying the strangest things to me lately, and I KNOW I’m just mishearing them. It’s amusing, but not very practical.
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ryn and more – i love seeing the notes you put in my journal entries. much of what i put there is by task from Sir, but you’re uplifting words of encouragement are amazing. i am going to add you to my friends, because after reading this post, i think i’ll like what you have to say. <3
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