Fat Girl on a Plane

I’ve not flown in 10 years.

The last time I flew I was going from Los Angeles to New Orleans for work. I boarded at LAX and waited the two hours between flights at Phoenix International. They called the next rows for boarding and that was me. I shuffled through the line and got to the podium to hand over my boarding pass to which she asked me, “Would you like to purchase an additional ticket? We have a full flight today.” I was perplexed. I asked, “Why would I want to? What?” She flatly states into the intercom, “Morbidly Obese gate C14 Disorderly.” I immediately wanted to die from pure mortification. I stepped aside, talked to numerous people before they finally agreed that I could use my round trip ticket to get me back to LAX without any additional fees. I had to explain to my employer the situation as to which they were beyond compassionate but it really ruined that expo not having me there. I am 100 lbs less than I was 10 years ago but since I still have a voluptuousness about me, I bit the bullet and bought two tickets just in case. Even though I know there is nothing that could go wrong (they are nonstop flights both ways, I bought dbl tickets, and paid for assigned seating) I am still very apprehensive about going to the airport tomorrow. I KNOW there is NOTHING that could go wrong on that level but my gut still tells me, “RUN, WTF ARE YOU THINKING!” That was truly the worst day in my life and that is saying something when both my parents are dead.

I am going to waddle my fat ass to the gate with my head held high and my TWO boarding passes waving in the air while trying not to knock anyone over with my swaying arm fat. LOL Wish flight F9-291 luck that we don’t go down over Tennessee because I’m too fat!

I’m heading to my oldest nephew’s high school graduation and my youngest nephew’s middle to high continuation ceremony. I cannot wait to see them. It has been a long time, too long.