Projecting

Dear Diary,

Today was fun but also mentally challenging. Today my idiot older brother tried to convince me that I was overreacting when in reality he was the one that reacted poorly. To give you some insight, my older brother was driving me and my sister to our cousin’s house to hang out. I was giving my brother the directions to her house, and once we arrived my brother accidentally drove passed our cousin’s house and drove to her neighbor’s house instead. He then processes to say DAMN IT Paige (my name), as if passing her house was that much of an inconvenience. All he had to do was turn around, but me being annoyed by his comment because it felt as though he was blaming me for him driving past her house. I then proceed to say ” Topper calm down you’re doing too much” and then he says, “did you hear me raise my voice”? “I am calm” “It’s shocking that you are getting so worked up over me saying one thing”. And you don’t even want to know how much I wanted to punch him in the face. Like is he being serious right now, is he really going to try and turn this back on me? You got to be fucking kidding me right now. My idiot older brother is known for always overreacting over the smallest things and the fact that he tried to sit there and make it seem as though I was the one overreacting was ridiculous. But at that moment I realize that people will try to push their flaws onto you and that was exactly what my brother was doing. Missing our cousin’s driveway did not need a reaction at all but he surely didn’t need to react in that way. Cursing because you missed a driveway was completely uncalled for but because I called him out on it, he got defensive and tried to make it seems as though I was the one at fault. But no I didn’t argue with him, I just let it go because you can’t win with people like that, they will try to argue you to death simply because they don’t want to change their awful ways. Sadly it’s just who they are and who they will always be but that doesn’t mean you have to put up with it. That situation made me realize how many members of my family gaslight me and try to manipulate my emotions. And the only way for me to live an emotionally healthy life is to get away from them and also validate my own feelings because they are valid, even if other people try to convince me there not. So to any readers out there just remember people will try to project their flaws, failures, and shortcomings onto you but don’t let them because it will only put you in an unhealthy emotional state. Where you will always question everything you do or think. And you don’t deserve that. You deserve to be in a healthy space where you can trust yourself and know that your emotions are valid.

Yours, Truly

P.S. One day you’ll be in such a secure place that no one can shake the confidence you have within yourself!