Unaniversary and 30

So today would have been mine and Shithead’s tenth wedding anniversary.  Its kinda fucked up to think I could have been with someone so worthless for so long.  We will be divorced for two years next month.  I used to think this day would bother me, but nope.  Not at all.  I should have gone to Chili’s for a margarita.  🙂

Let’s see, what else.  I’ve been kinda staying away from OD.  I got pissed when it was offline.  I wanted to rant and rave, but I couldn’t so oh well.  I can’t even remember whatever it was I needed to bitch about.  I did meet some new people over at FB since we were all going through withdrawls.  Maybe I should write so they have a reason to keep reading me. 

Oh yeah and I turn 30 tomorrow.  Its kinda strange to think I won’t be in my 20’s anymore.  Not that they were all that great and as a matter of fact this year has sucked pretty damn bad, but its weird to think of changing decades.  I like to tell whoever asks me if I feel old that I have my piece of immortality walking around.  I don’t have to feel old.  Then I tell those little skinny bitches to hurry up and get pregnant and fat.  😛  Not really, I’m just in and testy mood tonight.

I do feel a hole for my Mom right now.  She would enjoy the thought of us turning 30.  She used to laugh at Bran and me to make fun of us getting old. 
She said she was already old so she could make fun of us.  God how I miss her. 

Today makes three months shes been gone.  I feel like I should be getting to sleep so we can go to chemo or sit through a tansfusion.  Its not real to not have my Mom.  I’m not real sure I want it to be real, but eventually I want the hole in my chest to stop burning.

Tomorrow I’m going to brave PartyCity.  Doll wants to wear wings for Halloween.  I better see if I can make her happy.  This is Shithead’s weekend. I Iike to have something nice waiting when she gets home.  She’s in sucha pissy mood from being with him that I feel like I have to work to get her back to beingmy kid after him.

My keyboard is pissing me off.  I need to change the batteries I think.  I don’t feel like going back to change the typos.  I’m going to be lazy.  Sorry.

Talk at y’all later.

Mandy

Ovarian cancer: It whispers, so listen.