Third World Family

WARNING: Please forgive my language ahead of time. I normally try to keep my cussing to a minimum so as not to offend too many, but as you are about to read, I can’t help myself when it comes to these people.

First, let me say that I don’t use that term to demean any other third world families. I use it only to demean mine. Thank you God that they aren’t my immediate family because I would have to shoot myself. It would have to be mandatory.

I’ve only name them before, but today I have to talk about them because they are driving me crazy. Let me tell you about how fucking white trash you could possibly get!!!!!!!

The house that all eight of them live in was given to my Uncle Fred. He was given the task of caring for his mother after a succession of strokes turned her into a vegetable. The house at one point was the most immaculate on the block. Not anymore. They still have the wrapping form Christmas presents piled up the walls. There is a small path to make it from the front do to the kitchen and so on, but dare to venture off and something will bite the shit out of you. I swear as sure as I am sitting here, the last time we went over there, something crawled up Joseph’s britches and bit his leg. I swear to you. I don’t think I could make something this strange up. The dirty dishes lay piled on every horizontal surface in the kitchen. Mind you, these are paper plates to save you from having to wash that many dishes. I’m all for cutting slack with the dishes. We use paper plates here often, BUT THEY ARE MEANT TO GO IN THE FUCKING TRASH!!!!!! You don’t just leave them on the “counter” until a gang of roaches decides to take off with it. Lord, help me, we have roaches too, but they don’t walk up to you and say hi before they take off with your dinner. Buy a fucking roach bomb occasionally!!!! Raid works wonders. Child Protective Services was called on them back around Christmas time and they cleaned up a little bit. They even painted over the yellowed paint from all of their smoking, but since CPS has been back for a while, they have reverted right back to their old ways.

Now I will explain in grave detail each of the shitheads that live there!!!

Uncle Fred:

He used to be a good person. He was left with the task of taking care of Granny Bullion as she slowly went down hill. He inherited the house after she passed away. He worked at the Coke plant for years, then left to take care of her. He went back after she was gone, but he got ran over by a truck there and had some kind of brain damage. Now he also has Alzheimer’s and has the mentality of a 5-year old. He has to wear diapers and must constantly be reminded to go to the bathroom. He thinks that my baby is my sister or me and that I am my Mom. He has no comprehension of time, what so ever.

Debbie:

One of my mom’s cousins. She has fucked up her life so she lives there. She says it is to take care of Fred, but it’s really because she has no place else to go. No one else wants to deal with her loser ass, so we allow her “to care for” Uncle Fred. I think it helps us to keep form having to deal with what he is going thru a bit. She will buy cigarettes before she will buy food. She buys food when the food stamps come in and that’s it. Any real cash they have goes straight to cigarettes. She also is an expert on everything. While I was in labor, she watched to monitor. After Joseph explained that one number was the baby’s heartbeat and the other was the level of my contractions, she knew as much as the doctor. In her expert opinion, I should have asked for the epidural sooner and I should make sure I asked for extra pain pills. When I came home, she called here everyday to see if I was still taking my pain pills. Then she wanted to know that if when I stopped taking them, could she have what was left of them. You see she has terrible pain in her body. It sooo bad and no one could ever understand. Excuse the fuck out of me; I just had my middle cut open. Stupid bitch.

Tommy:

Tommy is Debbie’s husband. If it’s possible, he is an even bigger loser than Debbie. Stupid ass has never has a job in his entire life. He had his own “business”. That was sitting on his ass, smoking pot all day and trying to force him self on my cousin. Sick son of a bitch. I really hate him. His excuse for not working is that he has social anxiety. BULLSHIT!!!!! He is just fucking lazy.

Nikki:

Debbie’s daughter. She is a whore. I mean it in the truest since of the word. That’s how she gets money for her cigarettes. She won’t do anything heavier than cigarettes right now because she is on probation. The second she steps out of line, she goes to the penitentiary for ten years on check fraud. She cashed fake checks for her drug dealer a couple of years ago and got caught. Now she has one month to complete her community service or the revoke her probation. She just told me she is almost $700 behind on her payments too. If I were her probation officer, I would have already called her ass in on it. I think they are being way to easier on her. I have no sympathy for criminals, especially drug addicts.

Chris:

The thing that Nikki is screwing. I hate him. He beat her and she ran from him, but now he lives there with them. Oh, and he is married to some other chick. Man, oh man, what a catch he is.

Rollin:

That’s right his name is Rollin. When I hear it, I think of un-rollin’ toilet paper. Poor child was addicted to something when he was born. He has parts, a penis and a vagina. His penis is so small, that it actually should have been a clit. Uncle Fred was so insistent on having a grandson, which the doctors made him into a boy even though they said he should have been a girl. Now the poor thing has feminine tendencies. Because of that, they call him a fag. Good parenting, right?

Kenny:

He is the least screwed up of the kids. He came out addicted to something also. Crack was her drug of choice at that point. He got away with mild retardation and only one kidney. When I was over the other day, he told me he had made it to the third grade. It only took him three times to pass second grade. I can’t imagine how old he will be when he drops out at this rate. I don’t think that he will finish school. No one in that house has ever finished. The kids’ mother was allowed to drop out during the sixth grade. She couldn’t even hold a job at Dairy Queen because she couldn’t do basic addition.

Destiny:

Of course, she was addicted to all kinds of shit when she was born. He mom liked to sell her to men for drugs. What’ more disgusting, a mom who would prostitute her own daughter or the man that bought her? I can’t imagine a lower piece of shit than either one. Destiny can’t talk more than the vocabulary of a three year old and she is nine.

I wait for the day that Sherry, the kids’ mom, walks in front of my car. I would say I thought I just hit a speed bump, I think. I honestly don’t think I would feel any remorse if she were gone. Y’all must think I’m horrible for that, but she is a waste of flesh in my eyes. Anyone who hurts innocent children is.

Now on to the whole reason I had to explain about them. They are poor. Duh, wonder why. You have to have a fucking job to get money. Lazy assholes. We sold them a car we had because it didn’t

run and that Chris guy is supposedly a mechanic and could fix it. The next-door neighbors that the third world family has been fight with for years called the cops and said the car that we sold them, they had stolen. When the police found out it wasn’t stolen, they just gave them a ticket for having non-working vehicles on the property. They called and asked if they could put the cars over here until they could fix them. If they had any intelligence between them, they would sell the ones that didn’t work and buy some fucking food. They only call here when we they have another way to use us. I can tell you exactly when they are going to call. It will be next week. The first is a week from Thursday and that’s when they get their food stamps. Debbie will need a ride to the grocery store. At least the kid will have something to eat besides rice and ketchup. That’s a delicacy when you only have food stamps to go buy groceries and waste the rest of your money.

Guess I have been hateful enough for one day. Y’all take care.

Mandy