no surgery

They had her all prepped and ready to go, but the x-ray they use during the surgery broke. Isn’t that just lovely. Now she has to wait until Tuesday. Since she was going to have to wait, the hospital wanted to send Mom home last night. As she is being put into a wheelchair to be taken out to the car, she starts seizing.

Great right?

It took two nurses and the respiratory man to get her back in the bed and hold her while the seizure was going.

Getting better?

So she had seizures all night long and has had several this morning. She is still in the ICU. We can only see her for an hour at a time. The next visiting time is from 12-1, but I have Jesse and cannot get away. I hope that I will make it to the one at five tonight.

I want this to all be over with. I know its hard on Mom, but its hard on me too. I am sure that selfish, but the worrying, waiting, and hoping are wearing on me. Talking to Beth every night is helping, but still, I am here and I have to deal. Brandy turns her grief and worry into anger. She can’t just cry it out. She has to fight. She screams at Joseph and me. She tells Jesse to go away. I know it hurts, but she makes it hard to be here.

I want to run away. I want to find some place that is quiet and happy all the time. I guess that doesn’t exist. And I wouldn’t go anyway. I need my Doll to much to leave.

Anybody want to be me for just a couple of hours? Please? I’ll trade you. I want to go play and be goofy for a while. No takers? Okay you stingy asses. 🙂 See if I offer again. 🙂

Y’all take care and hug those babies tight.

Mandy

p.s. 5 years ago, today Joseph and I had our first date. We went to the State Fair. Look where a first date got me. 🙂