Mom’s Dictionary
AIRPLANE:
What Mom impersonates to get a 1 year old to eat strained peas.
ALIEN: What Mom would suspect had invaded her house if she spotted a child-sized creature cleaning up after itself.
BABY: 1. Dad, when he gets a cold. 2. Mom’s youngest child, even if he’s 42.
BECAUSE: Mom’s reason for having kids do things which can’t be explained logically.
BED & BREAKFAST: Two things the kids will never make for themselves.
CARPET: Expensive floor covering used to catch spills and clean mud off shoes.
CAR POOL: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar.
DATE: Infrequent outings with Dad where Mom can enjoy worrying about the kids in a different setting.
DRINKING GLASS: Any carton or bottle left open in the fridge.
DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
EAR: A place where kids store dirt.
ENERGY: Element of vitality kids always have an oversupply of until asked to do something.
FABLE: A story told by a toddler when asked who broke the expensive vase.
FULL NAME: What you call your child when you’re mad at him.
GENIUSES: Amazingly, all of Mom’s kids.
GUM: Adhesive for the hair.
HAMPER: A wicker container with a lid, usually surrounded by, but not containing, dirty clothing.
HANDI-WIPES: Pants, shirt-sleeves, drapes, etc.
HINDSIGHT: What Mom experiences from changing too many diapers.
“I SAID SO”: Reason enough, according to Mom.
JACKPOT: When all the kids stay at Grandma’s for the night.
JUNK: Things belonging to Dad .
KISS: Magic Mom medicine.
MAYBE: No.
OPEN: The position of children’s mouths when they eat in front of company.
“OW”: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.
QUIET: A state of household serenity which occurs before the birth of the first child and occurs again after the last child has left for college.
SCREAMING: Home P.A. system.
SHOW OFF: A child who is more talented than yours.
TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.
UTOPIA:
See “BUBBLE BATH”
VACATION: Where you take the family to get away from it all, only to find it there, too.
WALLS: Complete set of drawing paper for kids that comes with every room.
RYN:There were pictures in the entry before the one you noted in. 🙂 did you miss them?
Warning Comment
I think I’ll enjoy this entry, but am a bit pushed for time right now. Just to say thank you for your note – and congratulations on your baby Brandi! (-:
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