I’m Not a Bad Mother.

I have to keep telling myself that. She is just spending some time with her grandparents. They need to know her. If I didn’t let her spend time with them, then I would be a bad mother. And I would be a hypocrite like them.

I cried for an hour when Debbie came to get her. I can’t help it. She is my doll after all. I still don’t know if I really want her to stay the night over there. She is so young. Maybe I am a bad mother for not knowing what to do. No I’m not. I’ve only been at this for a little while. I haven’t had time to be a bad mother. She can tell me I’m a bad mother when she is a teenager. I’ll still love her.

Joseph tried so hard to comfort me. I just couldn’t help myself. I miss her so much. I want my doll back. What the hell was I thinking when I thought I would be okay with her over there. I’m not. I want her with me. She is supposed to be with me.

I’m not a bad mother. I’m not a bad mother. I’m not a bad mother. I’m not a bad mother. I’m not a bad mother. I’m not a bad mother. I’m not a bad mother. I’m not a bad mother. I’m not a bad mother. I’m not a bad mother. I’m not a bad mother. I’m not a bad mother. I’m not a bad mother. I’m not a bad mother. I’m not a bad mother. I’m not a bad mother. I’m not a bad mother. I’m not a bad mother. I’m not a bad mother. I’m not a bad mother.

Maybe one of these days I will belive it.

Mandy